At The Black Sheep, we sometimes conduct interviews with students who are unique or interesting. Maurice Michaels is one such student. Since beginning school at UCLA this year, Maurice has taken every flyer ever offered to him on Bruin Walk. He has even made sure to flash a bright smile when accepting them. We sat down with Maurice to find out why he does this.
The Black Sheep: Thank you for joining us today, Maurice.
Maurice Michaels: Thank you for having me! I’m always happy to have a chat.
TBS: So you accept every flyer that’s offered to you. Do you actually read the information on the flyers, as well?
MM: Most of the time I don’t. I just accept them so that I’ll make the people who give them out happy. They look so surprised and happy when I take their flyers, it’s the sweetest thing!
TBS: What do you do with all the flyers, then?
MM: I just stuff them in my desk drawer when I get back to my dorm. My drawers are so full right now, as you can imagine. I actually had to switch to buying e-books for my classes because there was no space to keep my textbooks anymore.
TBS: That must be quite a sight! So what made you decide to accept all these flyers?
MM: I actually worked for a fast-food restaurant in high school, and one of my jobs was to hand out flyers. These flyers actually had coupons that offered great deals. For example, there was a coupon that let you buy one meal and get a second meal for only double the price. Like, wow! For some reason, though, people always avoided me. That’s why I can empathize with the people on Bruin Walk. I know the struggle. I know what it’s like to feel invisible.
TBS: That is a sad story indeed. It’s no wonder you’re so nice.
MM: Well, I try. My mom always said kindness is next to godliness.
TBS: That’s a great sentiment, but isn’t the saying supposed to be about cleanliness rather than kindness?
MM: Is it? No wonder our house is so dirty.
TBS: Let’s move on. Have you had any interesting interactions when accepting the flyers?
MM: Well, one guy looked like he was about to cry after I took his flyer. He said everyone had been swerving out of the way just to avoid him. He asked me if it was because he was ugly, so I told him of course it wasn’t. He wasn’t that great looking, to tell you the truth. But, my mom always told me to be nice to the weird people. They can be violent.
TBS: Your mother is full of wisdom. Anyway, the school year is almost over and you’ll have to move out of your dorm. What do you plan on doing with all those flyers?
MM: Burn them, of course! I’m a bit of a pyromaniac. I may or may not be responsible for all those fire alarms at Hedrick Hall.
TBS: Well, that’s all the time we have. Thank you for sitting down with us, Michael. We’ve really learned a lot about you.
MM: It’s been a pleasure.
Oh hey, listen and subscribe to Talk of Shame: