The new Snapchat update has been a complete failure: it’s caused streaks to disappear, people to post nudes to their stories, and nearly everyone who’s updated hates it.
Most have deleted the app, but one UCLA sophomore, Rebecca Gray, stands alone as one of few remaining who has the old Snapchat.
We hunted down Gray, a fourth-year communications major, who is the only person at UCLA in possession of the old Snapchat and asked her what it felt like to be the last person who actually enjoys Snapchat.
“You know when you date someone and you break up, but you still follow them on social media? And you’ve just seen them go off the rails, man, like doing coke off a toilet seat every night? It’s like that.
“Despite having over 60 different apps on my phone, I keeps them all on manual-update mode,” Gray explained. “All the bougie, automatic-update people are finally facing the consequences for their laziness.”
Though the new updated version of Snapchat is seen by many as an absolute failure, Gray said she does have some problems with the old version.
“The red ‘1’ on the top right of the app? It drives me absolutely insane. But you know what they say — there’s a price to be paid for freedom.”
While verifying that she had the old Snapchat, we checked her phone; she had well over 20 streaks, which she later laughed off.
“My friends always say I’m a slut for having so many streaks.”
Despite her streaks and the warmth the old version of Snapchat brings her, Gray feels very lonely. Her life has become a world of those who have the updated Snapchat and those who do not.
“Snapchat has really driven my friend group apart,” Gray said, wiping away tears. “Most of my friends have stopped talking to me, but I can’t just update now. The update is hideous! I don’t want that in my life.
After pausing to collect herself, she continued: “Snapchat keeps me sane some days, knowing that it doesn’t look as bad as it could. I do miss my friends, though.
“Yet, I’d rather die a streakless, friendless, a washed-up Snapchat slut, than see my ex-boyfriend’s Snapchat story on my main page. He actually does take toilet seat lines. I can’t tell which is sadder: him or the update.”
Oh hey, listen and subscribe to Talk of Shame: