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7 Places at UCLA to Take Cover During a Trump-Induced World War III

Sure, the Koreas might be making amends, but Kanye is besties with Trump, and China owns our debt. We’re one Donald shit-tweet away from being drafted for the war! You can never be too safe in a society that thinks it can solve all problems and make everyone sing Kumbaya around a campfire. Here are the best places to take cover at UCLA when World War III happens. 

7.) Bombshelter:
IT’S IN THE NAME. Plus, there’s food. 

6.) Gene Block’s office:
The real question: Will those four walls protect you, like middle school drills in the 1970s thought? Or will you our lord and savior, the meme god, Daddy Gene?

5.) The gender neutral bathroom:
Since it’s all-inclusive, no bombs would dare infringe upon our equality!

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4.) USAC central office:
If it’s one thing USAC does best, it’s helping out our dear UCLA community. They make it a safe place for us to grow and thrive, no matter what the circumstances are. $270 a year won’t get you anything significant or impactful in your actual day-to-day, but they can definitely save you from a nuke!

3.) Away from the frats:
Because frat boys are so stupid, they attract things that are the “bomb” into their rooms. At least that’s what they told you friend who told you. Apparently, they pride themselves off of it.

2.) Away from the sororities:
Especially when they’re full of grenades. #JerseyShoreReunion

1.) Parking Structure 8:
Not exactly for taking cover, but if there were a WW3, why would you want to live through it? Take the easy way out and let all the levels fall on you.

 

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