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Wow! UCLA Frats Banned From 7-Eleven After Stealing 800 JUUL Pods

Early last Friday, UCLA frat members across campus were involved in crimes against vaping, with several dozen fraternity members threatening students’ ability to casually JUUL during lectures. Over 800 JUUL pods at the Westwood 7-Eleven were stolen, police said. 

At 1:52 a.m. on Friday morning, Gayley Ave went silent, witnesses testified, which is “pretty abnormal,” said sophomore Kristen Lange. 

“I mean the after-1:30 crowd is pretty bleak normally,” Lange said. “It’s the really drunk people and the ones who still think they’re going to get laid. But all of the sudden everyone was just gone.”

Many first thought this was due to standard drug- and alcohol-related conflict, or a possible causal assault. However, after few key witnesses stepped forward to shed light, it turns out about an hour before the brothers’ detainment, a police report was called from the Westwood 7-Eleven, where 800 JUUL pods went missing. 

All evidence of the crime seemed to disappear before even the most type-A students woke up for their 8 a.m’s.

During the day on Friday, many fraternity members were missing from class, and, at first, many attributed this to BruinCast and a hangover, but details later emerged that this was something larger. 

According to Julia Livingston, girlfriend of one of the detained members (the father’s tax lawyer has requested his name not be released), there was something much more sinister at hand.

“There is no way he wouldn’t be in class,” Livingston said. “Attendance was 40% of his grade. That’s just sadistic.”

“It was the Gay Boys,” said local snitch, Tom Jones, in reference to fraternity members who live off Gayley Avenue. “The Gay Boys are pretty involved in the black market drug scene. But they don’t want to fuck with the hard stuff, so they sell vape accessories. Early that morning, they had a big order for JUUL pods. Middle school kids across Southern California were offering big cash for a taste of fruit medley, cool mint, and the like.”

Jones later explained how the Gay Boys pulled it off.

With their parties that night were a diversion, frat brothers acted as a protective veil, obscuring their nefarious plot though the perfect drunken night. 

While everybody else was yiking, about 15 members of the Gay Boys rolled up to 7-Eleven with garbage bags ready to commit minor felonies and extort money from minors. How they exactly pulled it off remains a mystery, but according to Greg Allen, who was supposedly working the 7-Eleven counter that night, said, “I don’t remember anything dude. I was really stoned.”

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