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UCLA Student Who Did Something Bad Happens To Be In Greek Life, University Sh*ts Itself

LOS ANGELES – In a situation that can only be called “awful,” a student at UCLA did something bad. However, this is compounded by the fact that [Student 1] happened to be in [Fraternity]. Many students and university administration have been reported as saying things like “See? I told you so!” and “Typical frat assholes.” The national chapter of [Fraternity] has disavowed [Student 1] for their actions, and is also considering disbanding the UCLA chapter of [Fraternity].

[Student 2], a student at UCLA, gave an insightful commentary into why action against Greek Life as a whole must be taken. “When [Student 1] joined the [Frat], they knew their action would reflect on that [Frat]. Their actions represent all of Greek Life, because that’s an organization that they are involved in. It doesn’t matter if they’re in any other student groups, since I don’t hate those groups. Greek Life is the only organization that [Student 1]’s actions reflect poorly on. Even if [Student 1]’s actions have nothing to do with being in [Frat], it’s still totally the frat’s fault.”

The university president has decried [Student 1]’s actions as “antithetical to the mission of this fine university. We are here to promote a culture of learning, tolerance, and academic inquiry, and therefore we must jump to conclusions and blame the fraternity for this student’s actions. It is simply unacceptable to look at the particulars of that specific student and try to discern why they decided to engage in such a horrible activity.” However, the university is not able to take action as the student’s actions took place off campus, and no charges have been filed.

[Student 1] has since deleted Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, Snapchat, and made their Spotify account private, so there is no way to contact them and ask for comment. If you know [Student 1] please direct them to The Black Sheep so that we may do our duty as investigative reporters and harass them with stupid questions. In any case, let us know what you think. @BlackSheep_UCLA on Twitter using the hashtags #IToldYouSo or #HowDoesOnePersonReasonablyReflectTheViewsOfTheLargestStudentOrganizationOnCampus


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