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6 Ways to Convince Yourself You’re Studying for Finals so You Don’t Hate Yourself

During this gorgeous finals season, when the hot-red faces of sober try-hards reminds everybody that we should all be a bit more stressed than we are, finding time to study still manages to really suck. Once you’ve settled down and just done absolutely no studying at all—but convinced yourself you have—here are some effective methods to keep up the work.

6.) Get some ‘study buddies’:
Studying is so much easier with friends! But let’s be real—nobody actually studies with their friends in Powell. Fire up the UCLA Meme Page and start tagging each other. The existential dread will slowly overcome you; once you go numb, there won’t be any worries for finals!

5.) Get some “help”:
Ah, yes, that perfect study tool. You can get the rush of knowing you’re abusing a prescription drug and learn a little bit.

4.) Cry:
It’s fine, we’ve all been there. It’s finals. Just let it out.

3.) Skim every page:
In a week, all of your schoolwork will be gone anyways. If you skim every page you’ll get the feeling that you’re studying. If you don’t retain anything, that’s better than studying seven hours a day before finals would’ve been.

2.) Full send the whole religion thing:
Join the ministry. Love Jesus. Make UCLA into your own personal deep-south Texan, Christian liberal arts school; preach the gospel despite nobody giving a fuck. Bonus points if you find that guy from last year with the huge Bible and the chain of plastic babies who’d yell about abortion for 8 hours a day.

1.) Follow your instincts:
You got into UCLA, you can get out of it. Do just enough work, and rely on that ever-reliable steed: luck. Just do what you need to do and enjoy the summer.

 

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