Is the New Hartford Campus Better than Storrs?

author-pic at University of Connecticut  

We all remember the day we signed onto Common App and submitted our UConn application, being extra careful to avoid that West Hartford check box when asked which campus to attend because any answer besides Storrs was the wrong answer.

Why commute to a branch campus and miss out on all the excitement? While Storrs will always be #1 in our hearts, West Hartford has started to accessorize its way out of a DUFF status by flaunting some new columns and sleek floating glass hallways, making some elitist Storrs students consider, “I could fucks with that.”

Michael Scott may not have appreciated Dunder Mifflin Infinity, but UConn feels warm and welcomed by Infinity Hall. West Hartford students deserve a Jorgensen knock off too, who are now able to enjoy concerts, food and, booze in this half theater-half nightclub venue. So if you’re looking to take oomf on that special date to dinner and a show, you may want to scooch Jorgensen aside and consider The Infinity. Don’t be a Michael Scott.

It’s impossible to remember a time without Storrs construction; jackhammers, piles of dirt, caution tape, and knowing somewhere within a mile there’s a truck backing up longer than it took Spongebob to back up with the Krabby Patty pizza. The days of waking up to birds chirping and peaceful strolls through morning rays of sunshine are days of the past, but not in West Hartford. Open sidewalks, pristine landscapes, and not an excavator in sight make for an inviting postcard for students considering a stress relief vacation.

Have you ever looked around and noticed that some parts of Storrs campus are living in the year 3037, and others are deteriorating from the years of medieval times? Some classrooms can print homework in 3D while the Drama-Music Building can’t seem to figure out what a light switch is. West Hartford understands the struggle, and knows how to tease our desires with crisp modern architecture, smooth exterior walls, mood lighting in the lounge rooms, and stairwells without fatal cracks just waiting for someone to trip on.

In case you’re starting to feel defensive of Storrs and wonder who the fuck West Hartford thinks it is, here’s a friendly reminder that North Eagleville Road has been stripped of its pride and will not be seen again for a very long time. No more sitting by Swan Lake contemplating the emptiness that is your life without the overwhelming beeps and crashes of construction, making you actually consider putting yourself through the exercise it would take to climb up Horsebarn Hill for some peace and quiet instead.

Up until now, West Hartford was Storrs’ fat annoying little cousin who desperately wanted to be just like it. Now the little guy has hit its growth spurt into the chiseled sexy campus that it’s become, an appeal even Storrs can’t ignore. Of course Storrs taught it everything it knows, but now West Hartford can robustly stand on its own and proudly represent the UConn name for everything it’s worth.

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