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Here are All the Things I Didn’t Get to do This Spring Weekend

As fate should have it, SUBOG’s mediocrity strikes again. Yet another Spring Weekend (that wasn’t deemed to be all that exciting anyway) was ruined by weather, shitty timing, and rules to make sure we don’t have too much fun. Here’s a recap of everything I wasn’t able to do, because asking for a good time with no strings attached was asking TOO MUCH:

Go to Stephen A. because I was too high:


UConn only has itself to blame for scheduling an event on 4/20. Going to Stephen A. sounded like a good idea on Monday, then 4/20 rolls around and suddenly all unused tickets became the platform for rolling joints and ashing bowls. Oops. At least most of the audience was high enough to tolerate his shady attitude towards our women’s bball.

See the Thursday night “lawn” movie:


We shouldn’t have expected anything less from the start of Spring Weekend than for it to be relocated to a small ass venue. SUBOG amped the anticipation by announcing a “secret” movie on the lawn, only to be ruined by soggy grass and typical UConn luck. So, Plan B commenced, only allowing a quarter of the people into the theatre who could’ve fit outside. I wasn’t included.

Get a ticket to do literally anything:


I was waiting in line for a bag of popcorn, and maybe some cotton candy if I was feeling adventurous (I wasn’t asking for much). But what am I told when I finally get there? “Can I see your ticket.” Bitch excuse me? I need a fucking ticket to get a salty-ass bag of popcorn. Alright, fine. I get to the ticket booth ready to receive my ticket, no questions asked, and what am I told? “You need to complete this checklist by visiting 5 booths before you can get your ticket.” Oh. Hell. No.

Get a free burger on Fairfield Way:


I thought I was doing myself a solid by waking up early, noon on the dot to be exact, to make it in time for the BBQ on Fairfield. How could I say no to free burgers, bamboo plants, and environmental sustainability information? But by the time I got there the meat was gone, and all that was left was the faint trace of disappointment and blended burgers.

Visit more than one food truck:


If you didn’t get in line promptly an hour and a half before 5 like I did, then you spent the entire two hours waiting in one line. Was it worth it? Absolutely. No matter what line you waited in you were promised a bomb-ass, kinda tiny, tray of food. Of course no one was complaining because it was the only free event of the day that didn’t provide blended burgers, something we’re not accustomed to as UConn students. 

Enjoy lit entertainment:


Whose mans was this?

You were all there, you know how it is. Spring Weekend was okay, definitely could’ve been better. Oh well.

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