UConn Daddy of The Week: Jovan
Welcome Huskies to your weekly dose of “shit I’m ugly.” This week, The Black Sheep brings you nothing short of a papi with Jovan. Learn what it takes to get him to cuddle, and even more about flaccid dick pics.
Instagram Handle: @J0van_
Relationship Status: Thot a proud!
Boxers or Briefs: I only wear briefs because it makes my body look better.
What’s your opinion on the current political climate in Syria?:
I don’t know much but I do know it’d be hotter if I were over there.
Have you ever been with more than one person at once?:
No, I wish! I’ve had sex with people next to me in the same bed… it was a twin.
What are you goals after college?:
To die with a body count of 69.
Does the thought of having kids trigger you?:
Basically I don’t want to think about kids until I’m done thotting.
How many times a year do you golf?:
I’m brown… we don’t play golf.
In terms of music preferences what’s your go-to pregame song? Go-to bone song?:
Pregaming – “Booty From A Distance,” by Ugly God
Boning – I can’t hear the music over the screams of pleasure.
After sex: cuddle or leave?:
There are too many factors: Who I’m with, the temperature of the room, and the bed size. It just depends!
I do my own thing, no specific positions; I’m just an animal.
Have you ever eaten food off of someone or had food involved in sex?:
Once I got a breakfast burrito as a reward for good fucking.
How do you feel about dick pics?:
I don’t like surprise dick pics, but if I’m in the mood then it’s okay. (He then proceeded to show us flaccid dick pics, which led us to question why anyone would send someone that. Alas, there is no answer.)
Why do you deserve to be Daddy of The Week?:
I mean, I’ve waited all my life for this.
Why should people read The Black Sheep?
So they can read about all the eligible hotties on campus.
If you think you or a friend is qualified to be featured as a UConn Mami or Daddy, send us a picture of your left weenis to [email protected].
Happy 4/20! What’s the better term: “weed” or “pot”? Our editors debate on our podcast!