Another school year coming to a close, means another Spring Weekend at UConn will soon be in the books. This year Adolf Herbst had some new initiatives, including a new line of fashion. That’s right, this year students were given up to six free bracelets that they were required to wear if they wished to leave their dorm room, eat, breathe, etc.
Not only that, the fourth Reich decided it was the perfect weekend, yes, weekend, to have 24-hour quiet hours and patrol because apparently the kid trying to drink some beers and smoke a J behind the Busby dumpster is a threat to the community. With that being said, The Black Sheep talked to ghosts of Spring Weekend’s past to gather a couple stories of what the second to last weekend of school used to be.
Belden Par 3:
Let’s take it back to the 90’s, when a young Tiger Woods was breaking records at the Masters, and my uncle decided to strive for a similar feat, but in a dorm room… He told me, “It was a simple game really. It started with rolling the kegs into our dorm room, gathering a foursome, some clubs, and a lot of debauchery. We would go to various dorm rooms on each floor, and ‘tee off’ by hitting the ball as hard as you can to try and get it through the door.
Once that was done, there would be a minimum twenty-second keg stand before heading to the hallway green where we set up the holes. The course started at the bottom of the building, and ended wherever we didn’t pass out.” WHAT. THE. FUCK. The best part is: not once did they ever get in trouble. Nowadays a broken dorm door manages to cost $1,000 and walking around with a golf club on Spring Weekend would get you 25 to life.
Andre Drummond Sexgate:
Back in 2011, UConn was blessed with a 6’11 center by the name of Andre Drummond, who arguably had a bigger presence in his pants than on the court. Years ago when athletes had freedom and weren’t “volunteering under their own will” at a 5K run on the Thursday of Spring Weekend, they could partake in the real festivities. Sources tell The Black Sheep that one night, they went out to X Lot, equipped with a funnel and a lack of dignity.
After a night of ruined flip flops, bruises, and cuts everywhere, the roommates returned back to their carriage house apartment. Upon avoiding the war zone of burning couches and shattered beer bottles, the three opened their door to an unusual sight… There was first round draft pick Andre Drummond, ass-naked and making sweet, sweet love. After, “the strangest eye contact of my life,” says the resident, “he said, ‘I’m sorry for the broken couch, I owe ya one’ and kept on doing his business. We gave him fist bumps and then got high upstairs.”
This weekend can easily be summed up in seven simple words, “Please let me see your Student ID.” It’s pretty damn obvious that gone are the days when Spring Weekend looked like a circus train crashed into a village of meth labs, but the school’s got to do something more than a bubble soccer tournament and a showing of Shrek the Third.
The police made nine arrests, one of the lowest numbers ever, but on the flip side, 187 tickets and 118 speeding citations were also handed out in the 72-hour period. Of course cops have to do their job, but there’s no reason to make Storrs feel like a goddamn prison.
If you have any good/funny stories from this spring weekend or weekend’s past tweet them at us @BlackSheep_UC.