10 Things That ONLY Happen in the UMass Campus Center

author-pic at University of Massachusetts  

The Campus Center is the hub of the UMass Amherst community. No matter what you study or where you live, UMass students can all agree that they’ve spent too much time in the waffle-shaped building and have shared some similar experiences.

10.) Avoiding the Soliciting Tablers:

Sometimes getting bombarded with information about clubs you don’t care about can be so extra. If Chi Omega asks you to join their sorority, politely inform them that you’re a boy.

9.) Spending $25 on 2 Notebooks in the Campus Store:

Next time you need to restock on paper supplies, you might want to think about selling your kidney for some cash. You’re gonna need it.

8.) Wondering if You Can Walk Out of Harvest Without Paying:

You see him out of the corner of your eye; a boy sneakily stuffing his pockets with granola bars and sandwiches and then heading for the exit without paying. You ask yourself, “Could I do that, too?”

7.) Wishing That ‘The Hatch’ Still Served Dank Food:

Some may not remember ‘The Hatch’ even existed as an eatery. It’s “soft-opening” has been quite the disappointment, because the school is still void of buffalo chicken mac and cheese. Sad! R.I.P, Hatch.

6.) Seeing Some Weird Adult Brushing Their Teeth in the Bathroom:

You really have to go to the bathroom between classes, so you stop at the campus center for a quick pit stop. But when you open the door, you find an old guy in business casual attire vigorously brushing his teeth. Nothing says fresh breath like a trio of bathroom stalls filled with shit.

5.) Tripping Over Bug-Eyed High School Students On Tours:

The younger generations of UMass Amherst stick out like sore thumbs. If you haven’t noticed them yet, look for them awkwardly standing around the dining hall on the weekend, they’ll most likely be avoiding Mom and Dad.

4.) Choosing the Shortest Line in Blue Wall:

Sometimes the Deli Delish line is just too long to waste time in. Don’t have time to wait in line? Just waste a swipe at a station that you don’t really want to eat at that has a shorter line, like Star Ginger. Mmmmm, pho.

3.) Choosing The Longest Line In Blue Wall:

Sometimes you get in the wrong line. You’re waiting. Your beard is growing longer. Your hair is greying. Then, you finally give your order, only to wait another 15 minutes to get your food. Nice.

2.) Longing to Get into the UPub Underage:

Don’t kid yourself. Every time you walked by the UPub before turning 21, you wondered what sort of magic might be waiting inside. We sincerely hope your first experience of drinking an overpriced, watered-down pitcher will be worth the wait.

1.) Using A Water Cup for Soda:

Although water cups are meant to strictly be used for water, everyone has used those tiny plastic cups to drink soda for free. Like stealing candy from a baby or a multi-million dollar, newly renovated building. 

The Campus Center experience is ehhhh…unique. There’s nothing quite like swiping cheese sticks from Harvest right in the line of sight of prospective freshmen. But hey, we’re the ones who chose to go here, right?

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