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10 Things Only Students at UMass Amherst Think Are Normal


Every college has its own unique set of “normal.” Usually, the things that one university finds completely natural, is completely batsh*t from other university’s perspectives. UMass Amherst is no different, friends. And here are some of those things…


10.) More People Show Up to the Tailgate Than the Actual Game:




Here at UMass Amherst, people love to party. So much so that they take any opportunity to drink very seriously. Sports? Not so much. The only way a student can enjoy themselves at a UMass football game is if they can’t remember the how it ended the next day.


9.) Five-Star Dining:




Apparently, not every university has the same quantity and diversity that UMass Amherst has when it comes to meal options. Not to mention, Late Night and its variety of procrastinating munchies. If the amazing dining were to vanish the whole school would suffer from a complete emotional breakdown due to lack of freshly-squeezed orange guava juice and Minutemen breakfast sandwiches.


8.) Walking a Thousand Miles a Day:


fast walk


Ok, so maybe we don’t actually walk a thousand miles. But a busy Monday can make your legs feel as if you just ran two half-marathons. Also, the students here are champions of fast walking to classes, especially when they have to get to Goessman Lab from Mahar Auditorium in under ten minutes.


7.) Calling Geese “Water Chickens”:




As students walk by the pond in the center of campus, there’s usually a swarm of geese hanging out on the ice and minding their own business. No one really questions how we started calling them “water chickens,” but we have and we’re owning it.


6.) Helicopters On Blarney:




Students called out the university for making such a huge deal about visitors on Blarney Weekend. Yet, no one really criticizes the oddness of such tight security measures on the actual day. Helicopters? Blarney or Black Hawk Down?


5.) Getting Knocked Over By The Wind When You Pass The Library:




Ah, what’s another article without mentioning the force that is UMass wind? Every time someone walks by the W. E. B. Du Bois Library, their body literally gets knocked over. But hey, it’s just another day in the life of a UMass student.


4.) Having a Nicely-Built Residential Area on One Side and the Poster Picture of Cement Hell on the Other:




UMass students think it’s perfectly normal that there are residential areas such as Northeast and Central, with their nice brick buildings, on one side. But then we have areas like Southwest, which are weird mixtures of creepy concrete towers and railings, on the other side. Sort of like walking over from West Germany to East Germany in the 1970s.


3.) A Building in the Shape of a Piano:




UMass students have never questioned why the Fine Arts Center is in the shape of a piano. Another thing they never questioned is why the heck the person who built it decided a cement piano would be a good idea for a building.


2.) University Health Services Being in Antarctica:




Although UMass students have accepted that everything in this university is a far distance from their dorm, it’s still ridiculous that the UHS is so far away. When someone is sick, they don’t want to walk miles up a hill for a note to excuse them from classes. Why did you think that was a good idea, UMass? C’mon.


1.) Marching Band Waking Students Up In The Early Hours of The Morning:


marching band


Students also think that getting woken up at 7 a.m. on weekends by the marching band is normal. Incredibly frustrating, but normal. It’s just a UMass thing.

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