College-aged individuals have always been a very coveted segment in the market. After the conclusion of a recent promotion by Tinder that resulted in UMass winning a free concert from rapper Cardi B, many students have wondered what the future will hold in terms of sponsored content. The companies could really help UMass out.
Tinder and Bumble are battling it out in a “Coke or Pepsi” kind of situation for apps that help you get laid. How genius would it be for Bumble to run literally the exact same promotion, but get an artist like Drake who’s even bigger than Cardi? Plus, with Bumble being the objectively second-tier Pepsi in this situation, this would do a lot more for growing their user base than it did for Tinder. We just made a lot of sense.
The company that was famous for illegally supplying the MLB with steroids would find itself in the exclusive position to capitalize on the insecurities of millennials. They could hand out free testosterone to all recreation center guests (and to athletes too, because our teams could use an edge). The meathead who’s able to get the most jacked wins a free lifetime supply of steroids, which will show all the assholes that made fun of them in high school that they finally made it.
Gatorade would be pretty ideal for everyone involved. UMass is a Powerade school right now, but no one gives a fuck about the balance of electrolytes in their incredibly sugar-filled sports drink, they just want their hangover to go away. For every cup of Gatorade that someone drinks at Berk and/or the Rec Center, UMass would give $10 to illegally paying basketball recruits under the table. This would help revitalize a program that hasn’t truly experienced success since John Calipari paid all of his players in the 90’s. Allegedly.
2.) Bud Light:
Everybody loves Bud Light! Or at least they think they do until they realize it’s basically just dirty water that doesn’t get you drunk very fast (but it does have the Patriots logos on it sometimes). Anyway, they could hand out a sixer of Bud Light to everyone who goes into a UMass football or basketball game. That would do wonders for football attendance and maybe it could sorta motivate the team to win a few games.
1.) Whoever the hell created Fortnite:
Does anyone realize how much free marketing these people are getting already? So many people are playing Fortnite that people are deleting Snapchat because every five stories is a victory screen and it’s obnoxious as fuck. If you’re one of those people you’re probably the worst. Anyway, the makers of Fortnite could run a contest similar to Tinder’s where whichever campus in America plays the most games, then that campus gets to start with unlimited Shield Potions. This would be kind of dangerous though, because no one would go to class for the rest of the year.
You’re welcome for all the free marketing, brands.
Know anyone at one of these schools?
UNC-Wilmington –$100 BOUNTY
University of Arizona — $300 BOUNTY!
Texas A&M Corpus Christi — $100 bounty!
Auburn — $100 bounty!
Penn State — $100 bounty!
Indiana — $100 bounty!
SUNY Oswego — $100 bounty!
Refer a friend for a marketing job, get $$$$ if they’re hired!
DM our twitter and we’ll take it from there!