5 Ways You Can Definitely Tell Fall is Finally Fally Falling at UMass

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It’s pretty easy to tell it’s fall once things really kick off. The first thing would probably have something to do with all these leaves. They fall, ya know? Besides the physical occurrences, there are many annual changes that happen in a cultural, social sense. Here are five of them:

5.) The frackets are out to play:
Frackets. Ya know, frat jackets. It’s a jacket that you buy that you fully intend on losing and do not care. Go to Walmart and buy the least expensive, but most expensive looking jacket you can. That’s your fracket now. Learn the difference between those and real jackets if you want to find out who’s really flexing on Autumn.

4.) Day drink attire’s gotten a whole lot fancier:
Everybody knows the traditional UMass day drink wear: guys wear a Hawaiian shirt or a jersey, and girls wear jeans and a black shirt. But with the inclement cold weather a new, much neater wardrobes will be ushered in. Bean boots and flannels, puffy vests, and sheer lined corduroy jackets. Top any of these looks off with sunglasses, and you’ve got one spiffy outfit to spill beer on. That being said, many guys will typically throw on a Patriots sweatshirt over their worn out Gronk jersey that’s been festering in a pile of puke during the warmer months.

3.) Shorter Lines:
The real crisis facing UMass right now (besides the influx of geese overcrowding Campus Pond) is certainly the long and lengthy lines that somehow permeate every building of this school. With temperatures falling, people are more and more likely to stay in their rooms and fewer people are interested in Late Night’s cookie dough sundaes. No one wants to go to the gym anymore because, ya know, the cold.

2.) Football games that actually matter are on TV:
As October starts to pick up the steam of the Campus Pond evaporating from the cold morning, real football season starts. Not the football that’s on when it’s still hot out. Unlike the football games that have been happening over the past month, the cold will keep everyone inside watching TV. Chill nights spent smoking weed on the pond will inevitably be replaced by sitting in a JQA lounge watching a game everybody cares a lot about, and Tom Brady will be hailed as a god while UMass’ own football team will remain irrelevant. 

1.) Poorly planned ski trips are lining your calendar:
Nothing screams, “Hey it’s fall!” like making lofty ski plans for the winter. Every year, students across UMass drastically overestimate the quality of the eastern skiing, then compromise and spend their time sledding for three minutes down O-Hill before concussing themselves. Yeah it’s early to talk of the snow, but the plans will start now when you have heavy pockets. You won’t have money to do fun things in the winter, don’t kid yourself.

Weather changes at UMass include serious social, cultural, and economic changes. Pumpkin spice will be a thing people take way too far, girls will wear yoga pants, guys will try to jump off things they shouldn’t. Fall sure is the greatest.

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