You either hate ‘em or you love ‘em, but one thing’s for sure, emojis are truly a wholesome form of communication. Basically a universal language, they allow us to convey our exact feelings without having to type sentences, and for the lazy UMass student, that is priceless. However often times we find ourselves searching for the perfect emoji to encapsulate our hangover or post-exam depression, which just isn’t there.
6.) “Tobacco Free Campus” Emoji:
Also known as the most widely ignored rule on campus, the no tobacco rule is violated everyday by countless students standing outside People’s Market, and the more daring ones will even roll up a joint on their walk to class. The smell of tobacco and weed that steadily wafts around campus is proof that we all need an emoji for it.
5.) “Hungover” Emoji:
Thursday nights out at The Pub usually leave us feeling like we got hit by a bus on Friday morning. This may be because we started drinking at 5 p.m. sharp at the UPub the day before. Whatever the reason, we are usually too hungover to move or speak, and need an emoji to send to our friends so they know we’re about to vomit, and no we cannot get Chipotle with them. Regrets.
4.) “Too High” Emoji:
It’s a tale as old as time: your roommate texts you to come meet up at Berk or go with them to the gym, yet you have just smoked yourself into a parallel dimension and are too high to type let alone go out in public. This emoji says, “I’m high AF bruh, I can’t even speak English” without all the extra words.
3.) “Duck” Emoji:
The duck emojis that exist are cute little ducklings, and not representative of the majestic mallards of UMass. How are we expected to text our friends hilarious anecdotes about the ducks of the campus pond without the proper emoji?
2.) “I’m Fine” Emoji:
Whether you just saw your ex in Blue Wall on a date, or are studying last minute for an exam you know nothing on, this emoji is the perfect way to convey that you’ve fucked up your entire life and accepted it.
1.) “Did We Hookup?” Emoji:
If you wake up in a stranger’s bed in Puffton, odds are your memories from the night before are a tad bit hazy. This emoji is needed to send to your BFFs the morning after so they can inform you all about your crazy night and how you made out with some kid in the line for Antonio’s.
Apple, it’s time to step up your emoji game and make it easier for us to text our friends about an awkward hookup or coordinate a smoke session. After all, if lazy UMass students are one thing, it’s concise.
Yeah, we all have D.A.D.S., just maybe not the kind you were thinking of: