Bartender of the Week: Dan at Applebee’s

author-pic at University of Massachusetts  

Name: Dan Clark

Twitter handle: @hotgrandma

Bar: Your Local Neighborhood “Applebee’s”

Relationship status: It’s complicated

Major: Resource Economics

Favorite Shot: Redheaded Slut

Disgusting Drink: Montezuma: Applebee’s House Tequila

5 Words About Hot Beer On A Cold Winter Day:

Nothing more disgusting than that.

What cold weather drink most warms the frozen cockles of your heart?:

Irish Coffee, hold the coffee.

What would you least like to find under a pile of snow?:

Frozen dog shit that isn’t quite frozen.

Who is your cuffing season target? Why?:

My winter course professor. Gotta pass some how (;

Why is December the worst month of the year?:

You truly realize how shitty your year was.

Tell us your worst joke:

A guy staying in a hotel goes to the front desk in the middle of the night. He says, “Excuse me, Miss. I’d like the porn in my room to be disabled.” The woman at the front desk looks at him and says, “We only have regular porn, you pervert freak.”

What would a snowman for frat guys look like?:

He’d probably be in a tank and mid-calf Nike socks. A total douche snowman.

Why should people read The Black Sheep?:

 People should read The Black Sheep because Dan Rafuse writes for them and I’d read his work even if it was on a bathroom stall.