UMass’ Rashaan Holloway is Obsessed with Snapple and Being a Libra
After an underwhelming season which saw the UMass Minutemen fail to make the tournament once again, the basketball team is looking to bounce back this year. One of the core pieces to this Minuteman team is center Rashaan Holloway. But who is Rashaan Holloway? Is he an absolute baller on the court? Is he a savage on Twitter? The answer is easy. Yes to both.
The first thing you should know about Rashaan is that he’s 6’11’’, 310 pounds, and an absolute tank down low. But the first thing you’ll know about Rashaan if you check Twitter is that he is Libra as fuck. According to Wikipedia, Libras are kind, gentle and apparently love to broadcast their daily horoscopes to his 1200 Twitter followers. His absolute tenacity tossing out his daily Libra ‘scopes puts him at Usher-level on the Libra scale.
Everything he knows he learned from a Snapple cap:
There is nothing wrong with this tweet. Whenever anyone goes out to get food somewhere, they make damn sure to pick up a Snapple to wash down their meal. The combination of the pop of the cap, the taste of the drink, and the highly informative nature of the facts makes Snapple the best glass-bottled non-alcoholic beverage among the multitude of options in Western Massachusetts. It is certainly better than that sewer water Nantucket Nectar. Keep learning Rashaan.
He’s got a lot of opinions about Tupac:
Rashaan is only a junior in college, but the big man has already found his signature. Much like the tongue-out, Jumpman Jordan of the past, Rashaan shaking his damn head at the world around him is simply iconic. Whether it’s Lavar Ball, the Tupac movie, or just getting a new phone, Rashaan has had enough of this shit and is more than willing to tell Twitter about it.
Ultra-Libra Rashaan Holloway CONFIRMED back on his bullshit:
The reports are true. A new school year, new season, new classes, and what’s that? Bah gawd that’s Rashaan horoscope’s music!!! Our man is BACK on his bullshit. UMass isn’t ready for all the cutting, honest, yet supportive evaluations and advice for Rashaan and all the other Libras out there based on what month they were born in. Honestly, what was a worse day for UMass basketball: the day all the Calipari shit came out and they had to forfeit our wins or the day Rashaan finally realizes he’s been taken on a ride by some random horoscope website and gets rid of their Twitter access.
Don’t worry about following your horoscope if you’re a Libra, just follow Rashaan. He’s got you covered.
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