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Help! Nobody Told Kayla Dance Marathon Ended and She’s Been Going at It for 72 Hours!

Kayla Johnson was separated from her friends during hour thirteen of this year’s Dance Marathon. In all the excitement, and perhaps because exhaustion was beginning to set in, her friends did not notice that Kayla had gone missing. She blissfully shimmied her way into the event, and there she remained for the rest of the twenty-four hour event…and beyond.

“We were all just…dancing,” said Valerie Lipinski, one of Kayla’s friends. “You know, we were dancing for the kids. And we were all wearing those shirts, and it had been thirteen hours, so everything was starting to blend together, ya know? We didn’t notice that Kayla wasn’t with us anymore.”

Kayla was discovered twerking in the morning sun the next day by a group of students hoping to use the space for their morning meditation.

“There’s good energy,” said UI sophomore Nick Apostolos. “We like to be mindful in there on Sundays. So you can imagine our surprise when we walk in and this girl is just…jiving. To no music. I want to reiterate that there was no music playing, but the look in her eyes suggested that she could hear ‘Uptown Funk’.”

“Oh, she was absolutely getting it,” said another one of the meditators, Andy Bianchi. “The fact that her legs hadn’t given out…she was running on pure energy. Some transcendent shit.”

The morning meditators quickly realized from her t-shirt that Kayla was involved with Dance Marathon, and they called in a few representatives from the Big Event to talk her down, one of which was her friend Valerie Lipinski.

“I was so relieved to see her,” Lipinski told The Black Sheep. “We were really worried once we realized she was gone. I tried to tell her, ‘Kayla, it’s over, we did it, we raised over three million dollars for the kids,’ but she wouldn’t listen to me. She just kept dancing.”

Dance Marathon did raise a record amount of money this year, but that didn’t stop Kayla.

“She had completely lost track of time and space,” said Apostolos. “I had never seen anything like it. It was dance in its purest form. She had tapped into something beyond this realm. For the kids.”

A few hours later Kayla performed a perfect death drop and has just been lying on the floor ever since. “We’re just gonna let her rest for a while,” said Lipinski. “She channeled the true spirit of Dance Marathon on this day. Days? How long has this been going on!?”

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