Having recently decided to upgrade the beloved campus food truck service, the UMass Dining marketing team has made the decision to rename the new mobile vendors to match relative to its new size Toddler Berk and Toddler Berk 2.
The trucks will be operating at the same convenient hours the as both Baby Berks did, but the good news is that the trucks are larger in size, produce less waste, can interact with more humans more easily, and have finer motor skills.
Thrilled by the news, some UMass Dining employees cannot wait for the Toddler Berk upgrade. “It’s so much less work for us. In Baby Berk we were constantly on our feet and barely slept,” said full-time line cook Bob Thornton. “That thing made so much noise and kept us up all night during the late shifts when we tried to squeeze in a quick nap on our fifteen minute breaks. With Toddler Berk, we’ll have some more time to relax and kick our feet up when the rushes hit.”
Toddler Berk, however, does not go without its setbacks. Former Baby Berk 2 employee Chanel Davis was recently laid off by the million-dollar dining service, as officials concluded that the costs of funding the Toddler Berk project “had to come from somewhere. Sorry!”
Davis went on to add, “You know I guess it’s just like that. One minute Baby Berk is yours forever. I dedicated all my time to it, made it my whole life. And the next minute it grows up into a Toddler Berk and it just doesn’t need you anymore. Suddenly you’re irrelevant. At least I have the Baby photographs to look back on.”
At press time, the team at UMass Dining announced it hopes launch the first Adolescent Berk food truck line by 2050.
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