Top 5 Things to Steal from a UNCC Frat Party
Greek life is an integral part of UNCC’s social scene, which is as lively as the sunken graves on campus. If you don’t know a Greek lifer, you don’t go to parties here. And if you go to said parties, there’s a treasure trove of things to steal. Why buy ketchup when you can sneak a half bottle from the fridge when no one’s looking? Save money on groceries, apparel, and prostitutes by stealing some of these key goods from Greek Village.
5.) The Frat Mascot:
Every fraternity has an animal they cherish by giving it vodka instead of water every weekend. You can take on the role of Sarah McLachlan and get Chaz the Golden Retriever out of that nightmare house on University City Boulevard. Frat guys can barely take care of themselves, let alone another animal.
4.) A Pledge’s Virginity:
When you and your girls are invited to Ratta Tatta Epsilon’s Greek Week Bash®, you’ll find the pledges guarding entry into the party. You have a vagina which is basically the golden ticket of entry into a frat party, but we recommend taking that one step further by turning one of the pledges into Charlie. Make his life into a world of pure imagination.
3.) A Brother’s T-Shirt:
Fraternities are notorious for making themed t shirts. One for the oyster roast, the picnic, and the homoerotic initiation ceremony… After you grab a drink at Rammed a Chi’s next function, make sure you steal Brother Tanner’s sick tee from the night of mountain weekend he got a little too drunk and penetrated by his big.
2.) Any Alcohol You Lay Eyes On:
Like any good hosts, frats don’t skimp on alcohol. With enough bottles to qualify for a Mecklenburg County Alcohol Permit, take your time making a selection from the finest shit to steal. Will it be Smirnoff? Grey Goose? Roll the keg down the stairs? The world is your oyster!
1.) The Prized Composite Pictures:
Every fraternity has semester photos taken to show how non-addicted to alcohol and cocaine they are that mom and dad can showcase at dinner parties. Taking all of their composite photos would cause an identity crisis for an entire group of guys, and maybe, just maybe, they can reinvent themselves as liberal hipsters instead of shitty Trump supporting douchebags. Imagine yourself as the John Dillinger of identity theft.
Now that you’re prepped and ready, you can finally take on the Greek Job. Once you steal all 5 of these things, tweet us a picture of your prize at @BlackSheep_UNCC and we won’t report you to the police for dognapping.
WATCH: We made Malort cupcakes. They are bad.
Get your St. Patty’s shirts before it’s too late!