UNCC Students Triggered by Graduation Robe Color Change

author-pic at UNC Charlotte  

Students at UNC Charlotte have reported feeling triggered by the controversial graduation robe color change last month, and have taken to campus to voice their concerns.

Following the whines of graduating seniors who actually care about school spirit, the graduation robes have been changed from boring black to a more fitting Niner green. The switch to looking like walking avocados during graduation has sparked outcries from sections of the student body, namely from the oppressed voices of the UNCC Color Blindness Unity Club.

20 color blind men and a singular, token color blind woman, started a petition claiming the new green robes are unfair to color blind students. People who suffer from red-green color blindness, or deuteranopia, see red and green as the same color with different shades. Their f*cked up eyes make the colors look like an ugly shade of dark yellow. They claim the robe color sets them apart from others.

So far, the petition has 30 signatures.

“With the black robes, all students saw the same color. Now that the robes are green, us color blind folks are seeing a baby poop color and that’s just not fair to us,” said Color Blindness Unity Club president, Chad Chadleston Jr.

The minority students are demanding the gowns to be changed back to black; they are also threatening to get in touch with national news outlets and the United States Color Blind People’s Protections Association and Organization to blow this minority representation debacle completely out of proportion.

“My specific restrictions are being ignored by the university,” said Patrick Lowe, Color Blindness Unity Club member who has an extreme case of deuteranopia. “I can’t see any colors at all, so we all have to do what’s best for me. That’s how America works now, right?”

“Our graduation experience needs to be the same as those who do not suffer from the terrible disease that is color blindness,” added Chadleston Jr., holding back tears. “Changing the robes back to black will ensure everyone is equal.”

Other students, in support of any situation that calls for meaningless yelling and coloring posters for a powerful Insta-pic, stood in solidarity with the students outside of the union.

“It’s pathetic the way university treats its students,” freshman Alissa Lowe lamented. “They should be offering safe spaces to those directly affected.”

Another student at the protest felt similarly. “I’m not graduating this year, but I’m feeling really triggered right now and could use a safe space too, along with anyone else that’s upset at these turn of events.”

“This is ridiculous,” student body vice president, Carrie Nowell, released in a statement responding to the protests. “The student body voted for the color change, you should’ve voiced your concerns in the survey.”

“What an insensitive and selfish leader,” Chadleston Jr. said in response. “I can’t believe she’s okay with an entire subpopulation of UNC Charlotte being marginalized.”

The university has shockingly ignored the students and their petition so far.

Drunk people say the darndest things: