The beauty of University City is that while the sidewalks are limited and the roads busy and dangerous, it doesn’t keep still-slightly-drunk us from walking home under the eyes of peers, faculty, and strangers after a rough night out. Take pride in your walk of shame, or avoid as much interaction as possible with these shortcuts around UNCC.
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Route 10 – Cookout to Walden Court:
Our dream walk of shame would be to grab a tray from Cookout before heading home, so route 10 is for anyone waking up starving and ashamed in Walden Court, but living that on campus life. Maybe frolic through the football field too, for an even ~quicker~ short cut. Treat yo’self, you disheveled fool!
Route 9 – The Edge to Greenway:
Complicated, lengthy, and sweaty, but you can pass it off as an early morning run from The Edge through the Greenway, to back on campus for your class in COED in last night’s bodycon dress. #highfashionhotmess
Route 8 – Circle K to UT Apartments:
Most nights begin at Circle K for a beer-run, and a lot of nights have ended in a random party at the University Terrace apartments. Checking back at Circle K for your fake ID before making your way back to Martin Hall is ideal.
Route 7 – Freshman Village Pilgrimage:
For those of you who give zero fucks and if living in Freshman Village already blows, walking straight through campus from dorm to dorm may be the quickest way to go. It’s a classic, coming-of-age route.
Route 6 – CATO Crawl:
Alternatively, you may need to find the roommates you went out with last night for a head count before you make the trek back to your dorm. Meeting place = CATO Hall, for a classic throwback to where all the tour groups meet daily. You’ll get to scare off prospective students and enjoy the perfect lawn around the Self-Made Man.
Route 5 – The Parking Deck to Witherspoon:
Sometimes you wake up in a parking deck and realize you never made it to your dorm. Good for you, because the distance of the walk won’t be bad. The stares of pity and disapproval from your peers near Witherspoon, however, might be.
Route 4 – The Light Rail:
We’re forward thinking here to when the Light Rail (in the 20+ years it will likely take to complete it), but because we know it’s going to be a major game changer for UNCC, we’ve prepared your easy and quick walk from the station to Wallis Hall.
Route 3 – University City Straight to ABC:
This isn’t a clear-cut path home, but if your walk of shame is happening at 1 p.m. from any apartment on University City, you might as well make a stop at the ABC for some liquor. You can start day drinking for tonight!
Route 2 – College Downs to Freshman Village:
From College Downs, utilize backyards, fence-hopping, dangerous intersections on University City Blvd, the grassy front patches of our campus, sneak through the construction of the old RDH, and bam, you’ll be back in Freshman Village and probably still a bit drunk. Watch out for grumpy security guards!
Route 1 – Smith to Hawthorn:
Perfect route from Smith to your room in Hawthorn, because your professor surely fucked you over and over and over this semester. You’ve been there all night, you’ve been there all day, every MWF has got you walking side-to-side.
Don’t let exams get in the way of your partying this end of the semester, and don’t let fear of not finding your way home keep you from making poor decisions. Plan ahead, and try to keep your composure as you strategically and ~maturely~ make that walk of shame to wherever home is.
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