5 Reasons Rodney the Ram (The Student) is Depressed
If you know anything about VCU, then you know (and love) our mascot, Rodney the Ram. Rodney, who’s been 12 credits shy of receiving his B.A. from VCU for the past decade, finally decided to stop cheering from the sidelines and enroll in classes this semester to (finally) get his college degree. His expectations and enthusiasm were high at the beginning of the semester, but we found 5 reasons depression has overcome him:
5.) Sleeps in Cabaniss Hall:
Rodney applied to this school as a freshman (accidently), so, naturally, VCU gave him freshman housing, right? Well, unfortunately for Rodney, he turned in his housing application late, banking on “getting a triple somewhere.” All the positivity he showed came crashing down when it said very clearly on his VCU portal: Cabaniss Hall. Now, Rodney sleeps in the loudest dorms at VCU, unable to get any sleep, and commutes fifteen minutes from Cabaniss to campus. Yikes.
4.) Stress Eats at Shafer Dining Court:
To offset the stress from his housing situation, Rodney stress eats at Shafer Dining Court; after all, it is a buffet-style lunch option with delicious food, right? Rodney has heard rumors of Shafer, but he tries to drown them out for his own sanity and mental health. Rodney, a herbivore like most rams, grabs himself a few measly pieces of lettuce and often sits in the corner of the dining court, alone in the thought that Shaffer doesn’t have any vegetarian options besides a salad bar.
3.) Went to a Frat Party:
After a terrible week for our friend Rodney, he gets invited to frat parties galore. Though Rodney doesn’t drink (in public, he’s a closet drinker), he still loves social events and “hanging out.” At one frat party, Rodney saw some terrible, ugly, downright unspeakable things on a night meant to be stress-free. Rodney goes home, changed for the worse.
2.) Realizes Our Art Program Will Just Never Be as Good as Yale’s
What else would Rodney be studying in VCU other than art? It’s bragged about all the time, and for a good reason: it is the best public art program in the U.S. The best PUBLIC art program. Rodney, for the first time, notices the word and begins to do more research on his respective program, learning he’s been falling behind Yale all these years. Yale? Yale! Rodney can’t draw his way out of this one, literally, figuratively, or mentally.
1.) Has Nonstop Thoughts of Returning to the Basketball Team:
Naturally, Rodney knows the basketball team like the back of his hoof: he’s been at every single game, and he loved the sport with everything his ram body has to give. With the inability to get past the first round of March Madness in seasons past, Rodney is was well aware of the problems that VCU’s had. This is the ram who’s made a shrine to Shaka Smart in his dorm room. And, what, he’s given up on his team? To what, be a student again? What’s a ram to do with a college degree?
Depressed like Rodney? Listen to our podcast to cheer yourself up!