Can We All Just Agree That Anything STEM is the Worst Major at VCU?

author-pic at VCU  

VCU, like any college, is home to a lot of fields: art, aging studies, creative writing, Russian studies (…) but, we have to agree with ourselves here: the worst major, by far, is anything in the STEM (science, technology, engineering and mathematics) fields. We’ve broken down what makes STEM the worst major at VCU:

5.) STEM Majors Will Rule the World — And They Won’t Let You Forget It:
Being bombarded by an endless parade of data-entry work and math projects is definitely overwhelming, especially when you’re being taught by somewhat who cannot grasp that you don’t have the innate ability to do literal rocket science. But, having the weight of the world on your shouldersas STEM majors are clearly the future of this country, if not this planetis unbearable, and they know to make sure to let you know they’re carrying the burden.  

4.) STEM Majors Dominate Conversation:
Do you absolutely love being talked over by someone whose degree is gonna actually get them a job while you’re just trying to enjoy a meal? In that case, you should definitely befriend a STEM major. Being around a STEM Major is like being friends with a mirror in a Target bathroom: if you’ve ever wanted to be reminded of your every shortcoming, look straight ahead. But hey, while James is busy drawing up blueprints for a rocket that’s gonna propel us all three thousand light years into outer space when the sun implodes, it’s cool that you’re working on that screenplay, Karen. No, it really is.  

3.) Internships Are Harder For STEM Majors (Or So We’re Told):
STEM majors are tasked with trying to get an internship harder than a frat guy tries to sue you on his dad’s boat while wearing his celebration Sperrys. And, of course, if you’ve ever been on a date with a STEM major, you’ll know that it’s 80% explaining the bizarre concept of emotional labor to them and 20% being condescended to about your own major. Science is where all the real jobs are anyway, didn’t you know that? You would if you weren’t busy thinking about things illogically with your silly woman feelings and studying theatre. Get with the times, Sharon!

2.) You’ll Never Make as Much $$$ as a STEM Major:
When math just makes your mind melt out of your face, you’re left having to pursue a different career path, but don’t forget to have a guy studying to be an engineer remind you every six seconds that it will never ever be lucrative. And if you can’t find a STEM major to remind you, they somehow find a way into your life.

1.) The STEM Field is a Dick-Measuring Contest:  
Being in the STEM field requires the utmost patience. A patience that could only be comparable to a sentient tree. Not only must you find yourself continuously attacked by classwork, but you have to be surrounded by other STEM majors. Sure, you can berate your friends in the humanities when you joke about how the average STEM major goes to more classes than an English major skips (HA HA HA HA), but what can you do when someone in your own field is in an even more lucrative field? STEM majors may have never signed up to be part of this elaborate dick-measuring contest, but they’re always going to be in it.

 

We don’t measure dicks here…yet. Listen to our podcast!