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VCU Claims It Has ‘Enough Black Friends To Not Be Racist’ Following Symbol Review

After recent controversy surrounding confederate symbols, VCU is standing by the claim that they have still have “enough black friends for us to be considered not racist,” a university spokesperson said on Wednesday.

The university has decided to conduct a review of the campus symbols to assure that it is not perceived as an exclusionary campus and would still like to maintain their “woke” liberal arts school reputation, the spokesperson said, who asked to remain anonymous because what he said would probably “sound, but not mean to be” racist.  

“Having a building named after a Confederate medical officer is really getting in the way now that people are paying attention,” the spokesperson said. “We’re not racist. Most of our staff has seen The Blind Side and White Man Can’t Jump, okay? Not only did we see both we loved them.”

Remnants of confederate history have existed on VCU’s campuses for decades, including VCU’s McGuire Hall, an ode to a former Confederate medical officer. That’s no surprise for a university that sits in the center of the capital of the Confederacy.

“This is obviously a brand new issue, and one that has just recently come to our attention after the unfortunate violence in the news,” a VCU administrator said of the statues. “The last thing the administration here at VCU wants to do is uphold a legacy of hate on campus. That would be something a racist would do, and we have plenty of black students on campuswho are our greatest and most treasured friendsso we’re obviously not racist.”

Some students, such as sophomore political science major, Jessica Franco, have some mixed feelings about the administration’s recent actions.

“I’m glad they’re going to do something about it but, why now?” Franco said. “These statues have been a constant reminder of Confederacy values at VCU for the past hundred years.”

James McCormack, a member of the department leading the review, believes that questioning the timing of the review is irrelevant.

“So you leave a couple of statues honoring slaveowners up around town for a few decades,” McCormack said. “Suddenly that makes you racist? I mean, who hasn’t done that? We’re not racist. I mean, I, uh, don’t think we’re raci—oh boy.”


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