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5 Reasons VCU STEM Majors Have Zero Redeeming Qualities

You may not always run into STEM majors if you’re not within a block radius of the engineering building or the VCU Chili’s at all times, but if you’ve taken a couple FI classes at VCU already, you’re likely to have shared a class with a VCU STEM major, no matter what field you’re in. If that’s the case, you’ll know that after each condescension soaked interaction with them you learned only one thing: They have no redeeming qualities. The Black Sheep has 5 points of evidence as to why. 

5.) They’re weak:
One would think that all that daily running to the engineering building 7,000 miles away from the rest of campus, around the border fence that separates Monroe Park from the rest of the world, and past hazardous lands of the GRC construction would make them stronger. Sadly, they end up running short on air because their lungs end up collapsing on their way to class.

4.) They have no game:
They’re basically your everyday fedora-wearing nice guys or the guys who show up to parties, drink all your booze, and pass out on the floor of your tiny overpriced studio apartment only to wake up for their 8 a.m., which they will inevitably brag about. Either way, they’re either way too weird or way too busy to flirt with anybody. They likely won’t text you back either and then think it’s okay to apologize for it months later. Thanks, Caleb.

3.) They have a warped philosophy:
Each one of them has a very skewed perception of what they think is and isn’t worth learning, primarily the humanities, and they definitely aren’t afraid to let those opinions be known. A VCU STEM major will likely tell you things like, “Wow, I wish I could just read all day,” before complaining to you about all the homework they have to do. Or they’ll go so far as to tell you your major just isn’t worth anything and you should just go after a “real” degree, despite knowing that no matter what, none of us are going to get hired when we graduate anyway. And that’s the tea on that.

2.) They mansplain everything, which is when a man explains something to you: 
Ever wanted to try talking about something without getting interrupted approximately three hundred times in a single minute? Well, hold onto that feeling, because you won’t find it having a conversation with anybody in VCU’s School of Engineering! Since the field is predominately filled with men, it’s likely you’ll get stopped in the hall every couple of minutes to be told you’re wrong about something your fellow man clearly knows more about than you. And you won’t even have to open your mouth.

1.) Goddamn they’re boring:
They just have no personality. All these goons want to talk about is how much work they have to do, and how they have no free-time. Meanwhile,  they have enough time to complain about not having enough time. We thought about making a joke here about how they probably only watch Rick & Morty or The Big Bang Theory, but they’ll just tell us that they don’t have enough time for that. Either talk to me about something else, or go grow bacteria in a lab, Brenda.

 

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