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6 Ways to Cope With Hometown Bumpkins While Away From VCU 

Many students are returning home and putting the sprawling metropolis of Richmond behind them until fall semester rolls around. There’s been quite the culture shock of returning to the place you happily left behind, and you’re left struggling how to deal with the backwardness of hometown bumpkins you left behind before you trek back to VCU for the fall. We got you covered. 

6.) Drop by your old high school:
One treatment psychiatrists refuse to put on the record is a little something called Flex Therapy. You can easily take part in this new age meditation by flexing your middle fingers nice and high as you do donuts in your high school’s parking lot, free from ever having to step foot inside that place again. 

5.) Insert yourself in politically-charged settings to kill time:
A facet of VCU that is so widely adored is the diversity in its student body. It’s so hard to avoid the heavily-divided atmosphere, so why not throw low blood pressure to the wind and dive in? Your local mom and pop eatery has amazing food, so sit back and get ready to eavesdrop on locals with vastly differing opinions on the construction of the potential U.S.-Mexico border wall because, no matter what’s it’s being built with, everyone here’s convinced it’s going up.

4.) Stay away from the popular places:
Running into people you graduated high school with is bound to happen. Whether it’s at the Shell station constantly overrun with former athletes showing off their trucks or spotting an old, overly-talkative teacher from middle school at Food Lion, it’s inevitable. Take the L. Go to the two-pump station, and use this gas to head to the Walmart 20 minutes away. You’ll thank us after you’ve dodged the awkward how-much-you-haven’t-achieved-in-a-year conversations.

3.) Keep your Ramily close (and locals far, far away):
Summer break is so difficult because it sends students scattering across the country. Don’t fret: your cellphone is a long standing extra appendage and you may as well use it to Facetime with your VCU bestie. By reminiscing about the sleepless nights at Cabell and all the calories you both racked up at Cane’s, it’ll be as if no time passed at all.

2.) Get a framed picture of President Rao:
He may have just unnecessarily raised tuition, but Rao is the reigning overlord at VCU. Rao owns you and any signs of patronage can only place you in his favor, so why not usher in good vibes from our sharp-dressed leader?

1.) Channel Rodney to give you strength:
Home means family, and family more than often comes with a difference in opinion: sweet tea to unsweetened tea, jeans to corduroys, casual racism to being deeply concerned with social justice matters, that kind of thing. So when Aunt Karen drops a colorful slur at the dinner table, shout out: “You’re killing him! You’re killing him!” Who they may wonder? Rodney the Ram, who has never done anything wrong in his life ever and will not stand bigotry. You call on him to keep you strong. He secures your sanity.

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