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4 Unlikely Couples Who Won’t Stop Sucking Face On The Drillfield

There’s a definite line that you don’t want to cross when it comes to PDA for normal couples. No one wants to see you sucking tongue on the VT Drillfield, but if you’re one of these four types of couples, please just avoid all forms of PDA. 

4.) Tyler the overcompensator and Karly, who’s way out of his league: 
“Rollin’ coal and dippin’ Skoal” is the motto of this power couple. A Confederate flag flies proudly off the back of his truck, and in the passenger seat sits a girl that has no business with his yee-yee lookin’ ass. How did he manage to land a girl like her? Maybe one day she got in the wrong truck and has since developed some twisted type of Stockholm syndrome. Fun couple activities include: illegal dumping, pounding the gas pedal in quiet neighborhoods, and stealing tree stumps from federal land for bonfires. 

3.) Derek and his anime body pillow: 
Derek’s fascination with 2D temptresses stems from hours of Dragon Ball Z and Pokémon on Saturday mornings. His parents always thought he was a normal kid until his interests moved away from monster fighting and super aliens and into the more obscure cartoons about lesbian dragons and scantily clad demons from hell. Derek came to college with intense sexual frustration and after months of pursuing unwilling women he’s resorted to carrying his waifu to class every day. 

2.) That artsy boy and his goth girlfriend: 
Aaron and Glory. Glory has always been strangely attracted to the artsy, skinny boy aesthetic despite her wardrobe consisting mostly of black and very dark shades of gray. From the moment she saw Aaron walking in his skinny jeans in the heat of August, she knew she wanted to get in them. She could feel her spiked choker tighten around her throat when she first began talking to him. Ever since then, Aaron has been a shining light in her icy heart. 

1.) Francis the animal rights activist, and her bf who’s a furry: 
Francis has been a devout vegan since the tender age of ten, but she felt an irresistible urge for the dog-boy’s meat when he nervously asked her out through spurts of stuttering speech. His name, not surprisingly, is also Francis. She loves running her fingers through his fur, and the musky smell wafting from inside his suit really gets her in the mood. Many of the explicit details of this relationship have been withheld so we don’t poison the minds of the youths. 

Why can’t love be as simple and normal like it is in Netflix originals? 

Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb. Hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep corporate, Mackenzie Harding & Andrea Jablonski. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire.

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