6 Innovative Ways to Sneak Your Pumpkin Out of Sinkland Farms

author-pic at Virginia Tech  

Tech is all about inventing the future –unfortunately, they’re not too concerned with inventing less expensive tuition. Hokies are getting more and more innovative, not only on ways to improve the world with their cool engineering stuff, but on ways to save a few bucks. And like all good things in life, a festive trip to Sinkland Farms isn’t free –so here are six innovative ways to sneak a pumpkin out of the patch:

6.) Impregnate your girlfriend:
So typically, this wouldn’t be a piece of advice that you would take. But we aren’t speaking on literal terms, we’re just telling you to shove a few pumpkins up her oversized, faded long sleeve tee she got from freshman year’s Orange Effect homecoming game.

5.) Sling it:
If we’re not mistaken, Sinkland does this thing where you can chuck pumpkins into a large, open field. Why not sling-shot that bad boy all the way into the parking lot? Extra points if you lodge that sucker right into the trunk of your white mid-sized Honda CR-V.

4.) Create a distraction:
Oh no! All the bunnies in the –what is that, a petting zoo? –got loose and are terrorizing the patch-goers! Quick! Now’s your chance! Hop off that hay ride and make a run for it!

3.) Corn Maze-ing:
Depending on how far you venture, the corn maze isn’t too far from the pumpkin fields. The corn maze is, conveniently, not too far from the exit. The corn maze is nothing but a vat of confusion and random country song trivia. Do you understand where we’re going with this?

2.) Make a run for it:
The great thing about Sinkland farms is that everyone comes together to carry away large, plump pumpkins that they would otherwise be given strange glances for. Run fast and carry that pumpkin proud! Act like you’d whip out the receipt from your back pocket in no time if anyone stopped you –when in reality, what receipt?

1.) Convince someone else to buy it for you:
If all else fails, find a generous patch-goer and butter them up. Promise them liquor, promise them food, promise them a date to ring dance –as long as you’re not paying, does it really matter?

At the end of the day, we can always pray to our lord and savior, President Sands, for forgiveness –but for now, just enjoy your free pumpkins!