Tax return season means one thing and one thing only —it’s the only time of the year where we aren’t hopelessly broke college students (for at least like 12 hours). We know you’ve just been aching to swipe your debit cards left and right to buy whatever irresponsible things your heart desires, and as complete enablers, we’re going to give you ideas on how to blow that tax return money immediately.
7.) Bribing the Mellow Mushroom trivia night host:
You’re competitive and you want to win at trivia just once in your life. Slipping cool 20s to the Mellow Mushroom host every time they come to your table to check your answers might be your best bet at getting bragging rights so you can tell everyone and their mother that you’re a trivia GOD. Winner winner, chicken dinner.
6.) Tapping in to the Taphouse:
You only go to Blacksburg Taphouse if your parents are in town and they absolutely insist on covering your bill. This might be your only chance to indulge yourself at one of the most expensive restaurants in town without having to worry about whether or not your card’s going to get declined. Pass the onion rings pls.
5.) Exactly one Yeezy shoe:
In honor of Kanye coming back to Twitter, you want to pay tribute to him in the only way you know how to—buying his overpriced products. Unfortunately, no amount of tax return money is going to help you afford a full pair of Yeezys, so you’ll just have to do with buying one shoe. Worth it? Absolutely.
4.) A round of rails for everyone:
Be the Oprah you’ve always wanted to be and treat yourself and your friends to endless rails at TOTS: “YOU get a rail! YOU get a rail! YOU get a rail!” Give strangers a rail, give the smelly guy from your 8 a.m. that you see across the room a rail, make it rain rails!
3.) A drink from every Starbucks in town:
For some reason that probably has to do with the excessive amount of NOVA kids in the area, Blacksburg has four (count ‘em—four) Starbucks locations that are all somehow successful despite the fact that they’re literally right next to each other. Get yourself a drink from each of them for funsies and tell yourself it’s for your own good since you need caffeine to study for finals.
2.) A beagle from the vet school:
Adoptions for the beagles at the Virginia-Maryland Regional College of Veterinary Medicine usually happens at the end of every spring semester, which is perfect timing for you to take home a new friend. Hell, get your new pal a lil doggie VT jersey while you’re at it.
1.) Parking Pass Galore:
With all of this extra cash laying around, you might as well park wherever you want on campus, whenever you want to. If the insufferable people from Parking Services stick you with a ticket, you at least know you’ll be able to pay it off. Think of the endless possibilities…
You might be a little upset with us for suggesting such tempting ways to spend all of your money. But let’s be real—it was going to disappear within the next week anyway, so we really just did you a favor in making sure you spent it on the RIGHT things. You can thank us via Venmo, big spender.
Know anyone at one of these schools?
UNC-Wilmington –$100 BOUNTY
University of Arizona — $300 BOUNTY!
Texas A&M Corpus Christi — $100 bounty!
Auburn — $100 bounty!
Penn State — $100 bounty!
Indiana — $100 bounty!
SUNY Oswego — $100 bounty!
Refer a friend for a marketing job, get $$$$ if they’re hired!
DM our twitter and we’ll take it from there!