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8 Things To Do When You Can’t Find A Seat In Newman (So Like, Every Time You’re In Newman)

We’d be willing to bet that like…three students are somewhat prepared for finals. This part of the semester is tense, not just because everyone’s trying to cram information into their heads last minute, but because trying to find a seat in Newman Library is worse than studying. If you happen to be one of those unlucky souls, here are some things you can do to compensate for your loss:

8.) Have a staredown:
You find a group of freshmen sitting at your favorite table and it’s so obvious that they’re not even studying. As much as you want to go up to them and demand your table back, you know you have to keep your cool. So instead, you give them the most intense staredown they’ve ever encountered. Your intimidating looks are sure to scare them away, leaving your table up for grabs.

7.) Eat away your problems:
You’re not far from ABP and Hokie Grill, which means that while you’re waiting for a seat, you might as well fill the nerves in your stomach with food. You may be stressed about passing Chem, but you’ll at least be happier with ABP mac and cheese by your side.

6.) Cry in the bathroom:
Newman has plenty of bathroom stalls. Nonchalantly find one for yourself where you can let out a good cry. You’re allowed at least ten cries for finals week anyway, so you shouldn’t feel ashamed. And by the time you’re done wiping away your tears, a seat might open up.

5.) Lay down on the floor:
There’s nothing like planting yourself on the floor of the library, your arms and legs spread out like a starfish. You can feel yourself slowly dying with the stress of that final essay you have yet to start, so what else do you have to lose? Don’t knock it until you try it.

4.) Bribery:
You have that crumpled up ten dollar bill that you were going to use for Chipotle in your wallet. If you’re desperate enough, you can use it to bribe someone out of their seat instead. It might be what’s best for you in the end.

3.) The stairwell is open:
When life gives you lemons, you made lemonade. When Newman gives you a staircase, you turn it into your own study spot. Lots of people going up and down the stairs are going to think you’re a little crazy. But you’d like to think you’re just inventing the future.

2.) Scream:
Go outside, get some fresh air, and just let it all out. It probably won’t phase anyone because in their minds, they’re doing the same exact thing.

1.) Give Up:
Hey look—you tried, didn’t you? At the end of the day, when you don’t have any other options, it might be best for you to give up. You can try again in a few hours and take a nice nap instead. You’ll survive.

Trying to find a place to peacefully study inside of Newman is the challenge of a lifetime. It’s an eat-or-be-eaten mentality that can drive you absolutely crazy. Hopefully we’ve given you hope with these ideas for what you can do while waiting for a table, and in the meantime, may the odds be ever in your favor.


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