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8 Ways to Spark Conversation in the Chicken Parm Line

Once a week, every week, each of us must bide our time waiting in the Chicken Parm line. However, since it usually lasts several millennia, you get bored just looking at your phone. Plus, you’ve been standing in line so long, you need a little human interaction. It’s the perfect opportunity to interact with a human, maybe even have a conversation with them. So here are some conversation topics to have with the person in front or behind you in the Chicken Parm line.

8.) Winter Wear:
How many scarves can you get away with wearing before you look like a coat rack? When the weather is below freezing and you have back to back classes on opposite sides of the Drillfield from each other, no one is afraid of a fashion faux pas. Well, except for the fearless people who wear shorts.

7.) Difficult Classes:
Your friends are all busy, but you can vent your frustrations to this stranger. However, don’t complain about easy classes like World Regions, because the only way you could have failed that class is if you actively tried to do poorly. The other person won’t have sympathy for you. But, maybe you both failed Organic Chemistry class and can bond over your burst of tears as you remember the GPA drop.

6.) UVA:
Mutual love for Chicken Parm and mutual hate for UVA? Sounds like you two could be a good match. All Hokies are united against UVA. I mean, it’s a requirement for admission. You can rant about how UVA calls us a “Cow College” and how their dining is nowhere near as good as ours. Sucks to be a UVA fan, I guess.

5.) Weird Hobbies:
Do you play on the Quidditch team? Do you creep around campus to take photos of people to put on the VT Crushes page? The person probably won’t be interested or want to hear anything about it, but at least it’s some social contact you’re probably not used to getting. Just don’t be upset if you say something strange and they turn around while you stand there awkwardly for the remainder of the time. 

4.) Future Job Connection:
Introduce yourself with a handshake and ask the person to give you a mock interview. Use your Smith Career Center skills and tell them all about yourself and your short and long term goals. Offer to leave them a business card even if you don’t anticipate to cross paths again in your future career.

3.) Qdoba:
The long line in Owens for Chicken Parm should automatically give you war flashbacks of the long line at Qdoba. Then, since you’re thinking about Qdoba, you’re going to want Qdoba. So, you and your new best friend decide to leave Owens to go stand in the Qdoba line, and you two can complain about how you wasted all your time in Owens for nothing.

2.) Sexual History:
Take this time to relate to the person in a way that you might not expect. For instance, both of you may have hooked up with the same frat boy.

1.) Virginia Tech G.O.A.Ts:
The greatest VT Dining feature is Chicken Parm, obviously, but standing in the line gives you time to walk down the memory hall of fame where Frank Beamer, Buzz Williams, and Justin Fuente remain in all our hearts.

The only reason you’re in the Chicken Parm line is because you tried to recreate it with a copycat recipe using ramen and DX chicken tenders, but it was more disappointing than your last semester’s grades. We’ve all tried to live without Chicken Parm, but we always find ourselves in Owens on every alternating Wednesday and Friday, and now we have the conversational topics to keep our minds occupied while we wait for that yummy yum chicky chicky parm parm.

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