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D2 Food Mashups Not for the Faint-Hearted


D2 has the dubious distinction of being labeled the worse dining hall on campus. You’ve probably have also had everything there a million times too. So, it’s safe to say that you’re probably over D2 at this point. That’s why we decided to get creative and create and review some custom D2 dishes that we cooked up all on our own. 


1). Omelet Surprise: 


A ham and cheese omelet topped with freshly cut bananas, coleslaw, tomatoes, fried chicken, mayo ketchup, potatoes, corn and hot sauce. The Omelet Surprise is sprinkled with Honey Nut Cheerios for an extra nutty crunch and lathered in Ranch dressing.


Smells Like:All your dead hopes and dreams were thrown in a blender with a rotten banana


Review:This tastes like straight up butthole. It has motivated us to create a time machine to prevent myself from committing capital punishment on my mouth. We’re convulsing right now. Worst thing we’ve ever eaten. Wouldn’t be surprised if it was served at UVA or Mason. 


Rating: .33 repeating Hokie birds out of 10


2) Salad for the People Who Hate Salads:


Lettuce, egg, corn salsa, tomatoes, potatoes, veggie nuggets, sweet potato fries, peanut butter, jelly (time), fruit, cottage cheese strawberry yogurt, and a lil’ bit of soy milk


Smells Like: Someone who listens to Ed Sheeran while on an elliptical at War Memorial


Review: The jelly really complimented the nuggets. The fries and fruit were also a quite nice combination. Good option for those looking to eat healthy. Not as bad as we would have thought. We’ve had better, but also have cooked much worse.


Rating: 6.5 Hokie birds out of 10


3.) Waffle Explosion:


A crisp waffle covered in syrup, cinnamon sugar, and strawberry sauce. It’s also paired nicely with not only a white Macedonian nut cookie, but a brownie and slice of Boston crème pie that happens to be smothered in buttery goodness. 


Smells Like: Diabetes


Review: It was good, but we threw up after eating half of it. We will avoid eating sweets for the week left in the semester. 


Rating: 8 hokie birds out of 10 (would’ve been 9 if hadn’t hurled)


As you can see, it’s within the realm of possibility to switch things up at D2. You should totally do it (but should bring a vomit bucket /UVA hat if you choose to do so). 



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