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Kroger on Main Street to Start Selling Gucci

 

Something all Virginia Tech students know is that the closer you are to Kroger, the easier your life will be. With such a huge population of Hokies buying beer, groceries, and beer from Kroger it makes sense that the grocery chain has opened up two locations in Blacksburg. However, these Krogers were not created equal. It’s common knowledge in the Blacksburg community that the store located on Main Street, known as “Gucci Kroger”, is unreasonably luxurious.

 

Fashion and Kroger are essential to the function of Blacksburg as a city. Without these two things, Tech students would either starve or would be a part of a huge maroon and orange mob. Luckily the great minds at Kroger and their well-known connections to the fashion industry have come up with a brilliant new marketing strategy.

 

“Because people look to Blacksburg as the fashion capital of southwest Virginia, we decided that we needed to add something to our venue that really capitalizes on that,” said Store Manager John Glintler.

 

Starting this fall, the “Gucci Kroger” on Main Street will begin to sell designer bags, clothes, and accessories from the Italian luxury brand, Gucci.

 

“I’ve always loved going to Gucci Kroger because of the 18 different types of cereal there, but now I can buy a $500 silk scarf along with my 30 rack of Natty!” said junior, Rachel Pennington.

 

By selling Gucci products at full price, Kroger will be able to give their customers a more sophisticated feeling, which is welcomed considering they are typically there to pick up six cases of Ramen and one-ply toilet paper.

 

In anticipation for the addition, senior Hakeem Bysir has applied for a job at Kroger. “I usually only go to Kroger for gas and milk,” he said, “but I just know that I’ll spend my first 6 months’ rent on the new Gucci line, so I figured I should get a job and hopefully take advantage of an employee discount.”

 

Gucci is ecstatic to see their products soon be sold at such a high-class establishment, while Kroger expects to see profits skyrocket by attracting a more avant-garde crowd. There have also been talks of having a runway show in the parking lot to showcase the fall line.

 

“Our projections indicate the produce section seeing a dip in revenue this fall, but with the addition of Gucci, everyone will come to buy, no matter what the price!” said Manager Glintler. “We’re hoping it makes up for all the rotten food we usually have to throw out,” he added.

 

In light of this decision, the other Kroger in Blacksburg, simply known as “the other Kroger” located near university mall, decided to put something unconventional on its shelves as well: Crocs. Whether that decision is comparable or not, one thing is definitely true, the Kroger on Main Street has cemented its legacy as the Gucci Kroger.

 

 

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