It has come to the point in the semester when you and your hallmates have all run out of money. Instead of pimping each other out, you’re struggling to scrounge up enough money for a coffee at Deet’s. We at The Black Sheep have composed a list to help you earn money last minute around campus.
5.) Sell Face Masks, Hand Sanitizer, and Emergen-C:
This is the time of the semester when everyone starts to get everyone else sick, take too much Nyquil, and commonly sleep through their morning exam. Therefore, you, an upstanding citizen of the Hokie Nation should prevent people from getting sick by selling medicine and such for less than Dietrick convenience store prices. Profit.
4.) Sperm Bank:
If this applies to you, this is a totally awesome way to earn money on the fly. The world needs more sperm… at least, the kind that’s contained in a bag, and not on your dorm room comforter, or anything, you know? Plus, it pays between 35 – 50 big bucks! That’s about how much you spent on Chick-Fil-A during finals week alone. Girls, there’s probably another alternative such as selling eggs or something. Retrieval slightly more challenging and less pleasurable.
3.) Donate Plasma:
There’s a place right on Main Street that’s a paid center, and you could receive $20 – $50 per donation. Besides, you get a free meal out of it to ensure you keep up your strength and survive finals week. Hope you’re okay with huge needles.
2.) Sell Back Your Textbooks:
Screw the exams that you need them for, head over to the campus bookstore or BookHolders downtown and try to bargain with them for more than a quarter. If you’re still unlucky, just take the quarters and call your grandmother to send you some money and junk food overnight.
1.) Do Laundry/Wash Dishes/Feed Fish:
Most people are too busy writing last minute papers and finishing projects that they don’t have time to keep up with general hygiene. That being said, that’s a wonderful opportunity to do people’s chores for them and ask them to pay you. You can bargain for $25 an hour cleaning their rooms so their parents don’t really see the disgusting sloths that they really are.
Bake sales and midnight grilled cheese sales to students pulling all-nighters won’t really work since everyone is as broke as you are. However, this list is the most surefire way to make at least enough to get yourself that Deet’s coffee. Until you scrounge up enough to get a ride back home for the summer, take advantage of the many free food opportunities at all of the end-of-the-year picnics and parties.