McBryde Bathrooms to be Renovated Immediately After Commencement

author-pic at Virginia Tech  

Virginia Tech officials are finally addressing the horror that is the McBryde bathrooms. They’ve recognized the difficulty of doing one’s business in a bathroom that looks like the Easter Bunny shit all over the walls. The issue has gone way beyond the Pepto Bismol tiles, and officials are beginning to recognize this.

“We’ve had an increase in women struggling with low self-esteem issues,” says one Cooke Counseling representative. “When they look in to the mirrors of the McBryde bathrooms and their skin reflects the pastel green walls, they don’t feel beautiful. They just don’t.”

Many students have reported feeling unclean after simply entering the yellow-colored restroom.

“How did they even come up with this color?” Tech senior Allie Green inquired, “Did a dumpster full of egg yolks explode in the room? Did the Easter Bunny sneeze and not cover his nose?”

Some students have felt “at risk” when they are forced to enter the secretive bathroom that is hidden behind a wall.

“My mom told me to never enter a dark alley alone,” said one Virginia Tech student. “So when I have to use the bathroom in McBryde, I’m just really conflicted.”

So, just following Spring Commencement of 2017, renovation of the McBryde bathrooms will begin. Granite tiles, soap shaped like seashells, bidets, vanities for the women, and flat screens for the men are in the current renovation plans. Renovation will hopefully be complete by next school year.