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New Commits Reportedly Persuaded by Blacksburg’s “Tropical Climate”


Since the beginning of the semester, seven future players have committed to Virginia Tech to play football, citing the weather as their main draw to the school.


“I can’t believe the weather here is so tropical, and warm! It’s like I’m not surrounded by mountains at all,” said four star commit Tyjuan Garbutt. Other players have also been amazed by Blacksburg’s show of good weather, despite the fact that most of the players are from the state of Virginia.

“I never understood why people called Blacksburg a cold place? It seems great here, I haven’t seen a coat all day!” said another fellow four star commit, Devon Hunter. Other football players in the program have tried to emphasize that this tiny stretch of warm weather is not representative of Blacksburg’s climate, and is a cruel trick to get the players to commit here.


“I was tricked by the same thing when I first visited Blacksburg,” said senior Greg Stroman. “It’s like they turn on the nice weather when we visit, then once we have committed, it goes back to being cold, gray and rainy. I don’t know how, but I’m sure it’s a recruitment technique.”

While it may seem unusual that Blacksburg has tolerable weather, the small town quickly went back to being a cold mountain town with the recent snow that has blown in. However, it has been rumored that more Tech commits will visit sometime this week, with the forecast set at fifty degrees with little wind. This suspicious timing has led many to believe that the weather won’t be nice because the recruits are only two stars, and if higher ranked recruits were to show up, then Blacksburg would warm up to a toasty eighty.


Even coach Fuente commented on the weather. “When I came and interviewed for the job it was the middle of December, yet it was in the seventies. I thought maybe global warming had something to do with it, but since I have lived here, the weather changes so frequently I figured Blacksburg was just weird.”

Whatever causes mysterious correlation of the weather and Virginia Tech commits, one thing is sure: Tech will have a pretty great football team in the future. Hopefully more commits keep coming to be Hokies, so that we don’t have to bundle up every time we go to class.



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