The sun’s out, the skies are clear, and it is way, way, way too hot outside. It feels like literal hell in Blacksburg, also known as “hardcore tanning in the Pritchard Quad” weather. All you want to do is bring the heat down so that you can get on with your life. You don’t want to turn the air conditioning on, because you can barely make rent as it is with your $8 per hour summer job, so what can you do? Lucky for you, there are several ways to cool down without A/C this summer in Blacksburg:
5.) Duck Pond Dips:
The duck pond on campus is gorgeous year round, but especially in the summer, with the water sparkling all day long. However, it should be noted that the water does more than sparkle. If you dare, dip your feet inside to cool yourself down. Yes, people will absolutely stare at you in disgust and the ducks will quack aggressively at you to put away your nasty feet that have look busted ever since you tried playing soccer barefoot, but these are desperate times.
4.) Balloon Buffoons:
Water balloons are perfect if you’re looking for something to do with friends while beating the heat. This is an inexpensive and effective way to do just that. Make your way over to the Drillfield and put your war paint on, because this could get as intense as that time you slept through your alarm and almost missed your Chem final.
3.) Shady Shades:
Sometimes, the heat can make you so irritable you start throwing shade at people in a way that you wouldn’t have done if you had just paid the $20 per month for A/C this summer. Before you can stop yourself you’re suddenly telling your friend that it’s weird how they pronounce “coffee” like they’re from Boston when they’re obviously from Salem. So if you find yourself being rude, make your way over to a shaded area, like the Main Eggleston tunnel you walk through on the way to Owens from the Drillfield, and take a time out.
2.) Brief Breezes:
Did someone just cut you in line at Chipotle? Oh, hell no. Cooling down doesn’t necessarily have to do with the weather, and if someone ticks you off to the point where you know you have to get calm instantly, just step outside for a moment and breathe. Every time you feel a slight breeze, take it in. And above all else, cross your fingers in hopes that the Chipotle workers will skimp that good for nothing, line-cutting imbecile on their pico de gallo.
1.) Ice, Ice, Baby:
This is probably the quickest, easiest option you’ll have. Fill your bathtub with ice and bathe in it. Fill up buckets and stick your head inside. Rub the ice cubes all over you body. Throw on a movie with Ice Cube in it while you’re at it.
When it’s blazing outside to the point where you can’t even enjoy the Blacksburg Taphouse onion rings on a lazy Sunday, you should take immediate action. Hopefully you’ve picked up on a thing or two with this list and decide to try some out. Otherwise, you’ll find that even your sweat can start sweating, and all hope might feel lost.
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