If you’ve ever found yourself dreading walking home in a crop top and booties at 10 a.m. after a night of fun, never fear! We’ve compiled a list of ten ways least likely to put you in front of that guy who sits behind you in econ, or a family with small innocent children.
(Click here to enlarge the image!)
10.) Red Route:
You should absolutely NOT take this route home. Not only are University Ave and W Main Street some of the most popular roads for traffic in the UVa area, they are full of unsuspecting passersby waiting with dirty looks and snide comments. Avoid this at all costs!
9.) Orange Route:
Of course you know about the magic that is hooking up in the Gardens, but the East Gardens are also the perfect route to get home and bypass more popular routes. Cut through the parking lot and you’re almost scot-free.
8.) Blue Route:
These three shortcuts are all preferable to walking past the Rotunda, which is a MAJOR danger zone in the daytime hours. The blue lines will get you to the Corner, where you can take another route to get to your desired destination.
7.) Brown Route:
This route behind Newcomb is for you, first years (or those getting down with first years). It’s an easier and much less traveled way to get to Rugby than McCormick. You absolutely want to steer clear of all of your studious peers on the way to the library, which is what you should be doing.
6.) Teal Route:
Going through parking lots and behind houses is preferable to directly walking on Wertland and 14th. This is especially convenient for those that live in this area and want to avoid seeing their roommates and answering their prying questions so early in the morning.
5.) White Route:
If you haven’t walked this way before have you ever even done a walk of shame? This is not very sneaky, nor will you avoid seeing people, but they will most likely be doing the exact same thing you are. Have no shame and walk past the super-clean and classy Grandmarc apartments with your head held high, and high five those who are on their way home as well.
4.) Purple Route:
The train tracks behind Coupes are also a very popular shortcut to avoid the masses, and a fun way to get yourself almost killed. Do NOT take this route if it’s been raining, you will be sliding down the mud faster than you can say “last night was a mistake.”
3.) Pink Route:
Another route through the train tracks that will lead you to Virginia instead of 15th. Ideal for sororities or fraternities on the other side of the tracks trying to bypass Beta Bridge. Look out for those in shacker shirts.
2.) Gray Route:
I mean, who doesn’t like going behind fraternity houses and cutting through their backyards to get to the other side of Mad Bowl? Trust us, it’s better than walking all the way around University or the dreaded Madison Lane.
1.) Green Route:
Probably one of the most precarious routes out there, but definitely the most fun after a long night away from home. Just cut through Carr’s Hill, behind the trees and through A School to get to the other side of Rugby. It’s long and a little dangerous, but worth it to avoid a good part of Frat Row.
Even with the best walk of shame routes, you still may see someone you know probably doing the exact same thing. Smile and act like you’re always in a mini-skirt, even on the Lord’s Day.
Listen to our podcast!