10 Things You’ll Find at Lighting of the Lawn

author-pic at University of Virginia  

Every year, UVa students come together by the Rotunda for the annual Lighting of the Lawn. We listen to a capella groups cover Christmas songs, watch the spectacular light show, and freeze our asses off. One thing’s for certain though, this event is definitely for UVa students. Here’s a list of ten things to look for during LOTL that will help prove that this event could be held nowhere else but Virginia.

10.) Northfaces and Bean Boots:

At this event, and UVa in general, fashion can be described by two categories: preppy or hipster. Don’t bother trying to find your friends, almost everyone will be wearing the exact same jackets and boots. Also look for the person who wears a Patagonia and tries to justify it as being “different.”

9.) The Rotunda:

So, this might be a cheat, but no other university will have our beautiful Rotunda in the background. However, there are those honor code violators at Hunter College, Chestnut Hill, and other colleges you have never heard of but who tried to have a rotunda. Ours is the best. Na na na na boo boo.

8.) Entitled Snobs:

At least one kid every year decides to throw a fit because they do not like where they are sitting. Expect the kid to be complaining about how Daddy bought them admission to this school, but couldn’t get them a seat where they could actually see the Virginia Gentlemen. Expect these guys to want a hippopotamus for Christmas.

7.) Drunk Frat Brothers:

There will always be the group of frat brothers who decide that they want to pregame the event. Always. Not that everyone else hasn’t pregamed the event, we can just really tell these guys did. Upon hearing the No Tones, they will enter into a bro frenzy so frantic that they will end up humping the Thomas Jefferson statue.

6.) The Do They Even Go Heres?:

You’ll also get the students who have hearing like a hawk and decide to loudly talk about their life and not pay a single bit of attention to the performances. Here is a sample conversation heard during last year’s LOTL:

Girl: “So there was this guy I met last night and I keep texting him and he never responded. I thought we hit it off, he kept telling me he likes me.”

Girl 2: “You met at Trinity. It was a hook up.” *They proceed to talk loudly about this guy*

Everyone else: “Shut the hell up! We could hear you from Asia if we wanted to.”

5.) T-Sully Impersonator:

Every year someone comes out dressed as Teresa Sullivan for our viewing pleasure. We hear Virginia Tech also has a T-Sully impersonator, but for a ritual sacrifice that they do to celebrate sheep mating season.

4.) No Tones Singing “The Good Old Song”:

Wait, that’s not the No Tones, but the UVA student body. Well, it sounded the same to us.

3.) Malfunctioning Sound Equipment:

It’s not a UVa Lighting of the Lawn without the sound either being as loud as Boylan’s on game day, or as quiet as the depths of Clem 1. Either way, your ears will suffer.

2.) The Laptops:

We all know it. UVa is full of try-hards. Like, do-they-even-sleep try-hards. Well, most of these try-hards will show up to LOTL with laptops in hand to do whatever assignment they feel they have to do. Little do they know a Russian operative will be here to hack their laptops. You remember that drone from last year.

1.) The Reading of The Night Before Christmas:

Last, but not least, look for the reading of this popular Christmas classic, but expect some timely revisions. Take a shot if they work in these popular topics: the basketball team, Donald Trump, coming together, CAPS, and more.

Bring this list, make a bingo card, or turn it into a drinking game! If you spot them all we’ll buy you a drink. At Eddy’s.

Yeah, we all have D.A.D.S., maybe just not the kind you were thinking of: