5 Ways to Get Yourself Kicked Out Of Coupe’s This Fall
The leaves are falling, PSLs are everywhere, and we’re finally approaching weather that permits sleeves of any sort. When the air is just right (and by that we mean tinged with the smell of clove and stale beer), a Thursday night spent outside at Coupe’s is the ultimate way to combine our two favorite things: drinking and crunchy leaves. If your game is going out for a good time and making it home safely and sober, to that we say, “BORRRRRING!” Go out and go acorns, ladies and gents, here are five ways to leave our favorite bar in style, autumn style (and maybe handcuffs).
5.) Smuggle in your own pumpkin beer:
Few things will get you kicked out of a bar faster than hitting em’ right where it hurts: in their wallets. That’s right, if you bring your own gourdy beer into their establishment, not only are you not paying them for your alcohol, you’re flaunting your rule breaking to all their other patrons who are breaking no rules (except that you snuck in through the window). This’ll surely get you thrown out on the street if you’re not careful.
4.) Start a bonfire:
You know what Coupe’s has always been missing? A fire pit. But hey, you were a Boy Scout once, and mama didn’t raise no quitter. If you’re wearing your new Canada Goose jacket a couple months early, sneak in some kindling and matches. Hey, sneak in some flint if you wanna really impress the crowd. Find a place, probably in the back corner where everyone jumps the fence, and make yourself a quaint little rock ring, then get crackin’. Bonus points if you use their picnic tables and liquor boxes for firewood.
3.) Peddle your fall crafts:
This is a surefire way to get your ass kicked to the curb, and we love crafts so we’ll help you out. Before you go out, make a few thrifty fall crafts with some things you have lying around your apartment. Top hits: corn husk dolls (so harvesty and adorable, aw!), jack-o-lanterns with flameless candles, and wreaths for people’s front doors made of twigs. Have a friend bring a folding table in with them since you’ll be bogged down by all your harvest goods and then DIY that pop-up craft fair, girlfriend.
2.) Try paying with a leaf:
We’ve ALL heard the urban legend about the girl who got into Boylan by showing the bouncer a leaf instead of an ID. Well now it’s time to up the ante. Get into Coupe’s with, and scope the place out. Buy a round for you, and for your friends. Nay! A round for the house! Make it something delicious and seasonally appropriate like Pumpkin Pie Martinis or Flaming Pumpkin shooters. When the bartender’s made all of your delicious treats, whip out a big ol’ maple leaf and slam it on the counter. Don’t break eye contact. Just leave it there and wait to be carried out of the bar.
1.) Dress up for Halloween as something reeeeaaaalllly offensive:
When picking your incredibly offensive costume, make sure it’s something that allows your body its full range of motion: this is important to both your entry and escape. Have a good time, get a little rowdy, draw some attention to yourself, get in a fight with people about how your costume “reflects heritage not hate”, then it’s your time to shine with the bouncers. They’ll try to kick you out, but they didn’t know that dressing as Harvey Weinstein wearing a “Girls Girls Girls” t-shirt allows you to move like a stealthy panther. When they go to apprehend you, launch yourself over the fence and into the parking lot. Mission accomplished.
*The Black Sheep is not responsible for any of the dumb shit you do at Coupe’s or anything else on the Corner. Drink responsibly (not before a midterm unless it’s after 1 p.m.).