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Here’s How to Dress for this Weird ASF Charlottesville Weather

The weather in Charlottesville right now is uhhhh pretty fucked up, and it’s forcing people to get creative with what they’re wearing. Lucky for you, we have produced style guides for every type of UVa student during these trying times:

Sorority Girls:
Lululemon leggings are a must. You spent $1,000 dollars on them, so you’re sure as hell going to wear them from August to May. Whether it’s cold as fuck and the wind is blowing through the thin fabric or hot as hell and you’re dying, you’ll never shed these not-actually-pants. As for a top, obviously you have to wear your letters because it’s the only way to let people make snap judgements, duh. A sorority t-shirt covered by a sorority sweatshirt that you can throw in your bag when it suddenly jumps from 30 degrees to 80.

Athletes:
Similar to sorority girls, female athletes should wear leggings no matter the weather. The difference is your leggings should be Nike because they sponsor UVa and you’re a walking advertisement. Dude-bros should be wearing UVa Nike sweats or shorts. Throw on an [insert name of UVa sport here] tank top/bro tank, and cover it with your UVa sports parka because it’s still snowy for some reason! But w/e you’re an athlete and athletes don’t get cold.

UGuide/Honor/UJC/Lawnie/StudCo:
We know it’s truly a struggle for y’all when the weather gets too hot to wear sweatshirts proclaiming you’re in a more prestigious group than the rest of us. You’re probably enjoying the cold because it means that you don’t have to put your University Guides crew neck away just yet. To truly kiss UVa’s ass in the way we know you all aspire to do, you should try to dress as preppy as humanly possible when it’s nice for 25 minutes. Ladies, only wear $50 blouses and jeans (not leggings, never leggings). Pair them with flats or Sperrys, which won’t keep your feet warm but WILL make you look like you work at a law firm. Men, khakis are a MUST. Pair them with a striped polo and some Dockers. An everyday Foxfield look.

Arts Grounders:
People in the art/drama/architecture departments rarely see the light of day, so weather’s not something that affects you much. You guys mainly need to worry about looking ~quirky~. Wear patterns that look like they don’t go together, cardigans that have no sleeves but touch the floor, mom jeans (and only mom jeans), and Doc Martens no matter the weather.

STEM:
Let’s be real here, you’re going to wear sweatpants and a raggedy old t-shirt no matter what advice we give you because you’re too busy dying to give a flying fuck about your clothes. The only thing we will say is please try to change at least once a week, because even if the only exercise you’re getting is from writing math problems on a whiteboard, you still smell, buddy.

Secret Society Members / Hullabahoos:
Robes. Lots and lots of robes. Nobody cares what you wear underneath them, as long as you have on a robe.

We’re not really sure if things will ever go back to normal, so just keep wearing what you’re wearing and hope for the fucking best Hoos. It’s almost summer which means we’ll all be holed-up in our mom’s houses watching Netflix, so it won’t matter what we’re wearing anyway.

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