There are countless people in Morgantown and thousands of students at West Virginia University. Even though we have no clue who the smelly kid that sits next to us in political science is every week, we do all know some of the most familiar faces here at WVU. We’re not judging, we’re just simply observing their, uh, uniqueness. Here’s a top ten list of the “loveable weirdos” who give our university some extra character. [Editor’s Note: This article is merely observational humor, not an attack on these people. We love them, and we love you.]
10.) The Segway Guy:
Although it’s pretty cool you own a Segway, riding it to class every day is a little much. Let’s take a second and realize you have legs and can climb the mountains of our campus just like the rest of us. Tone it down, Marty McFly.
9.) The Homeless Lecture Hall Lady:
There are a lot of homeless people in Morgantown, and they tend to give us the willies now and again. However, that one lady who always appears in lecture halls wearing a hat, flip-flops, baggy shorts and looks like she’s on a Mission Impossible scavenger hunt is one to keep on eye on. She’s a little… eerie.
Before they broke our hearts by closing Shift Ace, Beetlejuice seemed to always show up there. You know who we’re talking about — big glasses, creepy smile. He’d usually just stare at you, give you a wave and move on to the next group. He was friendly, but gave you a reason to grab your bestie’s hand, down that slab of greasy goodness, and high tail it out of there.
7.) The Merica’-Lovin’, Santa Clause-Bearded Dude:
We love our country as much as anyone, but this dude kicks it up a notch. He’s often shirtless, sporting bright red, white and blue shorts, a stars-and-stripes bandanna and a glorious, flowing Santa Clause beard. Let’s not forget his trusty sidekick, a dog who rocks an American’ leash and bandanna as well. Where does he come from? Is this actually Santa Claus in Fourth of July disguise?
6.) The Mumbler:
You’re waiting in line for Sports Page when he staggers up to saying God-knows-what, and follows it up with a barely-comprehensible, “Ya’ll have good night, now.” What’s this guy’s deal? He makes noises similar to a cow on a See-N’-Say.
* Pulls crank on See-N’-Say * “The drunk, homeless guy says: ‘MERRRRRRR’”
5.) The Creepy Old Fart in Da Clubs:
There’s always one of those creepy 75-year-old dudes wearing a jump suit and flat bill who hangs out in the corner of Lux or Cellar, just watching all the hawt young thangs shake it on the dance floor. It’s the perfect combination of creepy and sad, yet admit it, we all see a small part of our future selves in him.
4.) The Hula-Hoop Girl:
We’ve all seen her doing neat twirling tricks with her hula-hoop around campus. She has a new hair color every week, but she’s always has her hula-hoop attached to her hip…or head, or arm, or leg. We give her credit though, we can’t even hula-hoop the normal way.
3.) The Preachers Outside the Lair:
Gather round, disciples, as one of the crazy ass preachers outside the Mountainlair tells us about how gay marriage, abortion, and the Easter Bunny are all part of the Devil’s master plan to take over the world.
2.) The Awkward Talkative Girl:
Ah yes, everyone’s favorite overly talkative girl who doesn’t understand what personal space is. She often asks inappropriate questions and can be quite touchy. Nothing says, “I’ll take the long way home” than an Awkward Girl sighting at the PRT.
And your number one WVU “Loveable Weirdo” is… (Drum roll)
1.) No Pants Girl:
Need I say more? You can find her walking along engineering wearing no pants on a regular basis. Is it below zero today? No worries, she enjoys chilly cheeks. The girl wears no pants. Just try to wrap your head around this, like isn’t that illegal?
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