Broncos, like most college kids, know how to buck cash out of their bank accounts at record paces. Kalamazoo is a great town to spend a night out, but sadly those nights will leave your wallets as thirsty hungover mouths. Still, that won’t stop your one friend with the worst spending habits from suggesting that you all end the night with some grub. So,
4.) Old Goat Tavern:
Maybe “stuff your face” was a little ambitious for this restaurant, as all its food items minus a few sit over $3. When you are a tad sloshy though, any bit of food will do. For $2.99 you can order a plain double hamburger ($3.49 with cheese, if you feel like splurging) and $2.49 will get you the Old Goat’s small portion of french fries. You can only get one or the other, though.
3.) Campus Wok:
A place that never seems to be clean, Campus Wok is full of large portion sizes that, if you’re crafty, you can make last for several meals. Sadly, if you are trying to shoot for the $3 budget, you won’t be able to go for those college debt-sized meals. But you can still order soups! That’s ok, right? Egg drop, wonton, hot and sour and chicken noodle all sit at $2.55 for the large orders. And if soup doesn’t do it for you, venture onto the appetizers and get egg rolls for $1.29 a piece, or six fried wontons for $2.45.
2.) Wendy’s on West Michigan:
Known as the “Ghetto Wendy’s,” this restaurant sits right outside WMU campus limits, which makes it convenient for any too-drunk-to-drive Bronco. Looking at the value menu will make your pinhole-sized bank account look like it could fit all the world’s oceans. The most expensive item is the Double Stack or chili, which sit at a gaudy $2.09. Just gaze all around that list of affordable food items, nothing is off limits here.
1.) Two Fellas Grill:
Not even a wok away from Campus Wok, this drunk food paradise has concoctions that were probably created by drunk people themselves. Maybe if you saved up for a few weeks you’d be able to afford its $7.00 wraps, but with $3 you’ll only be able to get some tater tots. Hey, look at the bright side here, at least potatoes are spongy and will probably soak up some of that booze in your belly making the following morning more tolerable.
Don’t like the options presented here? Sorry, you can only get so much for $3 around Kalamazoo. Maybe, in the future, budget a little bit better. Or maybe make friends with the rich kids in the Heights and you can bum off some of the cash that their parents endlessly stuff into their bank accounts.
Drunk people say the darndest things: