Are you guilty of waking up half naked in someone’s backyard during Welcome Week while probably still intoxicated? We’ve endured many Bronco welcome weeks, and we’ve formulated the perfect survival guide to help you and your buddies make it through a week filled with empty beer cans and broken New Amsterdam bottles:
5.) Find Friends Who Will Carry Your Drunk Ass Home:
During Welcome Week, many Broncos believe that if you didn’t drink till you dropped, you sat in your dorm all week long. So, always make sure that you surround yourself with only the best people who will catch you when you fall over at the bar, or even better, carry you home when you’ve had one too many boozey den pops. Hey, we’ve all been there.
4.) Hydration is Key:
In between those Four Lokos you’re pouring straight into your unforgiving liver, be sure to hydrate with a healthy Natty Daddy or two. Shot gunning cheap liquor can catch up with you quickly, so making sure to balance it out with the shittiest, most watery, beer that can be found at The Den will ensure your survival and get you through the rest of your day in one piece.
3.) Shower Regularly:
While welcome week usually entails drinking all day and into the night, that doesn’t excuse you from keeping up with good personal hygiene. If you did Welcome Week right, chances are you woke up in the same smelly clothes you had on for 18 hours, and no one likes going to the bar and butting up next to the dude who hasn’t showered after a day of getting beer spilled all over him. If it’s too much to ask to shower here and there after dartying all day, shower beers are always an option.
2.) Eat Anything with Nutritional Value … Or Just Anything:
While many may believe that drinking on an empty stomach is smart, we encourage eating as much as you can during Welcome Week. If you’ve had a rough weekend, stop by The Grotto all day Sunday for half-off food items to help you get some life back in your body, but don’t completely avoid the drink specials. It’s okay to indulge.
1.) Grab the Head Candy:
After smashing beer cans against your head, barrel rolling down Lafayette, or just being a dumbass, you’re likely going to wake up with a gnarly headache. Grab a bottle of pain reliever because you’re probably in a great deal of pain after unofficially being crowned the kind or queen of Welcome Week. Congratulations.
After a wild week, I’m sure all of us Broncos could use a little TLC, and a day, or month, off from the bars. After enduring WMU Welcome Week one too many times, this perfectly formulated survival guide is fool proof and here to (hopefully) help you make better choices for Welcome Week 2018.
Our podcast is scientifically formulated to be great for Welcome Week: