Holy crap, Kalamazoo has an ESPN Game Day! Want to know how to behave this Game Day? Fear no more, we have plenty of examples for you and your loud-ass friends to mimic this upcoming Saturday as we watch the Broncos take on the Buffalo Bulls.
8.) The Freshman:
Freshmen know how to bring a fresh sense of excitement and deer-in-headlights look around campus, as well as to school games. New to WMU and kick-ass Bronco football, they’re guaranteed to be the fans who never fail to show that pride! Go ahead and ask them what they think about Broncos’ 10-r0w.
7.) The Bronco Fanatic:
These people are the easiest to pick out in a crowd and can usually find their way on the fan cams with belly paint plastered on their shivering bodies. This upcoming football game will be a bigger holiday than Christmas for them, and they will sure as hell make it known on Saturday.
6.) The Shit-Talker:
Keep an eye out this Game Day weekend as we play the Bulls to make it 11-r0w. Western is ready to not only beat the shit out of the Bulls, but to talk shit about them too. We can all agree that our fellow aggravators will be the true unsung heroes of the night.
5.) The Normal One:
This is your average Joe. They’ll be 40% of Broncos in the stands this Saturday as they take the occasional selfie, only to prove they were at a sporting event for one of their class requirements. These people are definitely going to look like an asshole just standing still and not rooting for our freaking awesome football team.
4.) The Brawler:
Ah, your local drunken frat guy, overzealous for Game Day, mainly because it gives the whole damn frat another reason to get drunk in broad daylight. Not only do we get entertained by them stumbling around and yelling in frightful children’s faces, but they sure do add more entertainment to our lives. Make sure to cheer for these moronic soldiers and give them a good, ole’ Bronco pat on the back before the police toss them out for being a menace to society.
3.) The 47-Year-Old Alumni:
Years have passed since they graduated, and let’s face it, they’re old as shit now, but still a dedicated old steed of a Bronco. They’ll be seated somewhere in the crowd with a few of their crispy friends as they lecture the younger Broncos that 47 is really the new 21. The alumni will spill his beer all down your neck, because it’s a great day to be a Bronco!
2.) The Girlfriend:
Her boyfriend is clearly on the team and she will obviously be at Game Day this Saturday. You’ll identify her right away because she was in all that drama regarding her man and his sidepieces. Don’t expect much other than some cheering, because she’s still battling on Twitter about who belongs to who. That, or she’s being tortured by his mom who keeps asking her questions because, well, she’s a mother.
1.) The Football Player’s Mom:
These women deserve their own reality TV show. A silent confrontation over whose child is best is bound to brew amongst the moms, and cause for some nice passive-aggressive drama on Facebook. Hands down, these women actually belong in the shit-talker category, because no one is better than their boys.
Come on down to Waldo Stadium this Saturday with ESPN Game Day and join all sorts of Broncos in supporting our kick-ass team.
Something so bad, 12 beers later, is so, so good.