The 8 Worst Places To Study on Western’s Campus

author-pic at Western Michigan University  

You finally got adjusted to classes starting again, waking up early enough to be somewhat functional for your 8 a.m. lecture, and paying attention to your cute new planner. Studying on campus is smarter than trying to at your apartment where you’re constantly distracted by the stomping elephants above you or your roommates telling you to come play waterfall with them. Western’s campus is almost a no-brainer for getting those first assignments done, but not all of the areas are a good place to be.

8.) The Middle of the Track Field Next to the Rec Center:
Reading up on the Salem witch trials is a terrible read, but a more terrible place to read it is the middle of the track near the Rec Center. Even as you start day dreaming about that supreme pizza you’ll be cooking up for dinner later, you then watch to see how far an athlete can sprint around the field. Talk about losing motivation.

7.) The Pavilion by the Valley Pond:
This may seem like a nice, secluded spot to catch up on your physics homework. However, freshmen will pop out of nowhere to play a little leisurely ultimate Frisbee and all you end up doing is sitting there like an elderly scrooge shouting “get off my lawn!”

6.) Sitting on the Campus Fountain:The campus plaza is a very popular spot for studying and relaxing in between classes, but when there’s nowhere else to sit and practice your French, you may end up resorting to a seat near the fountain. As soon as you take a seat, however, a gust of wind forces the streams of water in your territory. Oh la la!

5.) The WMU Marching Band Practice Parking Lot:
You think in your head that no one would study here, which is excellent for you. What isn’t excellent is when a herd of tubas stampede towards you and they’re chanting band expressions that doesn’t even sound like English. At least you learned not to interfere with the BMB.

4.) On the Whale:
Being hoisted up on one of the most bizarre sculptures on WMU’s campus is probably the worst luck you could receive for the semester. Not only are you sitting on a whale carcass, you’re also placed upon old streams of piss from boozed-up Bronco students.  

3.) The Flag Poles:
The only reason to pull out a textbook in this area is if you constantly want a bible shoved into your hands or for random food giveaways. It’s the risk you’re willing to take for free food, but having a look in a book is almost impossible with all of these distractions.

2.) The Bernhard Center Biggby:
The morning weekday rush is excruciating as is, with constant slurps and high pitch squeals from basic girls who ironically got the same banana crème chocolate marshmallow caramel latte. Take it on over to the mall, ladies.

1.) In a Piano Room in Dalton:
At first this might be a genius idea to someone who’s never practiced piano. What a first-timer to Dalton doesn’t understand is you won’t want to hear “Bohemian Rhapsody,” Mozart, and “Hot Cross Buns” all at the same time. Rather than thinking you’ll hear something cool out of all the pianos, expect what a cat orgy would sound like.

Do yourself a favor, and don’t try to be creative on where you go to study. There are plenty of students on campus who will look at you at these “study areas” and wonder if you hitchhiked from Mount Pleasant. Just go to Waldo Library with a couple monster energy drinks and a bag of Doritos for a functional night of cramming.