Instagram captions might as well be a class at Western because of how many of us are constantly refreshing our likes and posting pictures. If you’re craving insta-fame like the rest of us, then your caption better be on fleek. Although there are many important components to posting a picture, the caption can make or break your carefully planned, candid pic. Fortunately, following these guidelines will finally allow you to break your record of a whopping 23 likes.
Avoid quotes from Drake, Nicki Minaj, or Lil Wayne: This means deleting the song “Only” from your vocabulary immediately. You don’t “get money” or “bitches,” so don’t pretend you do on Insta. Song lyrics as captions will always crash and burn.
Don’t write a novel: No one wants to hear about how sad it is that it’s the 10 year anniversary of your pet bunny’s death. Under no circumstances should you write a giant paragraph under your picture, because no one cares enough to read it. It might be your best friend’s birthday, but let’s save the novel for social media that no one cares about anymore, like Facebook or Tumblr. You might as well just post the Declaration of Independence under your pic because no one is going to read it.
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Don’t be confident about your selfie caption: Don’t post a selfie with the caption “because I actually look cute today:).” Let’s face it you have to be pretty confident to be posting selfies these days so no one believes you don’t think you look that cute every day. Don’t worry about a selfie caption all together because you should not be posting one unless you are in 7th grade and just got your braces off.
Careful when posting with your bae: A lot of these captions are just flat out embarrassing. Refer back to second guideline when posting pics with your significant other. Also, don’t ever think about posting a caption with your boyfriend of what feels like 100 years that says: “Me and some cute boy I just met.” We’ve already seen your 1,800 other posts of you and him since you started dating two months ago.
Chill with the emojis: (You posted a picture of you riding your bike down Lafayette and for some reason you have the chocolate chip cookie emoji?!) While we’re on the subject of emojis, feel free to never post the peach or whatever that long purple emoji is(zucchini?). Pick a couple emojis that are relevant to what you are doing in the picture and throw them at the end of your caption for the best effect.
If you follow these guidelines you might actually have a chance at getting 100 likes without texting your entire group chat, mom, and roommates to go double tap your picture. Once you’re living by these rules, Instagram should come easy but picking the right filter is a whole other story.