After almost four grueling months spent back in your hometown, you’ve finally reached the light at the end of the tunnel. You get that warm, fuzzy feeling inside seeing the hobos of Kalamazoo welcoming students back with open trash bags. Here’s a list of some of the things you’ve been deprived of during summer vacation:
9.) Late night food:
Being back in your hometown means the only food option you have past midnight is McDonald’s. Their French fries may be delicious enough, but after your first week away, the cravings for Two Fellas and Jimmy John’s past 2 a.m. are greater than your hate for Central.
8.) Den Pops:
Nothing quenches a Bronco’s thirst quite like one of these signature drinks from The Den. These babies must have been touched by the hand of God considering the amount of times they’ve saved our lives after a night of drinking.
7.) Drink specials:
Your hometown caters to the middle-aged inhabitants with a happy hour before 9 p.m. Even during this time, you can’t find drink specials like the one’s round here. Bet you never thought you’d miss The Grotto’s $1 PBR’s or The Library’s half-off wells.
6.) House Parties:
Because sometimes, we’d rather buy ourselves cheap beer and walk down West Michigan than pay for overpriced drinks and an Uber.
5.) People Your Age:
Being home means that running into your parents at the bar is inevitable. Some lonely, middle-aged, man or woman is going to ask to buy you a drink and offer to pay for your tuition if you’re willing to be seen with them in public. We prefer the drunken pick-up lines fed to us by a creep our age at AFB over an adult with a secured job and a 401k. Oh wait…
4.) Campus Court Pool:
Despite the fact that Campus Court’s pool spends more time being closed than open due to our drunken stupidity, it’s one of our favorite places to gather during the warmer months. Filled with booze, half naked bodies and an angry staff, CC hosts the Red Bull Pool Party every year to remind us why we missed them so much.
Our saving grace most nights. Unlike most colleges, Western is lucky enough to have sober (and insane) volunteers to pick us up in our time of need. We’ll take the judging glares and a free ride over your $6 cab fee any day.
2.) Drinking Throughout the Week:
Summer internships and jobs have made our drinking days (almost) non-existent. Welcome week for most in Kalamazoo carries over into the school year. They don’t call us Wastern for nothing, right?
We have been waiting what seems like an eternity for football season to return. Our team may continue to let us down, but between the booze, our new tailgating hours and Coach Fleck’s ability to pump you up, our school spirit is higher than it’s ever been.