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WMU Senior Unable to Attend MAC Championship, Even After Saving Booze Money

The nation is aware WMU has gone 12-0 with their first perfect regular season in school history. Now that the Broncos are on their way to Ford Field, many fans plan on attending the event.


WMU senior James McLocht had high hopes to go to his last WMU football game, but tickets were sold out before he had the chance to purchase one.


“I’ve been sober for two full weeks!” McLocht tells The Black Sheep. “It is the longest time I’ve gone without taking a single shot in my entire college experience!”


McLocht tells The Black Sheep he saved his bar-hopping money in hopes of attending the game this Friday in Detroit. Abstaining from drinking had a positive effect for the senior, but McLocht regrets the decision.


“Because I didn’t spend my Friday and Saturday nights at The Grotto, I ended up studying more and boosting my GPA. I absolutely couldn’t handle that. No way. How can ya study when they know the bars are bumping and the kegs are flowing?”


After McLocht found out tickets were sold out, he was absolutely devastated, but he quickly realized his sober saving days were over.


“Now that I can’t make it to Detroit, I can drink my sorrows away and lose all care about how well the WMU football team was this season!”


McLocht is planning to watch the championship game at The Old Goat Tavern while shotgunning PBR every time WMU scores.

You went drinking, now you’re stuck pooping. How’s that going for ya?


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